Day #2 of potty training and it was deja vu all over again. I've cleaned 2 cushions and the rug several times. It appears he doesn't realize when he has to go still. At least he's telling us right after he's pooped. A baby step I guess. He did hold it again this afternoon. I'm not sure what the difference is - why he can hold it in the late afternoon only. Everyone keeps saying it will click on the 3rd day. I hope so because I can't take any more time off and I am not sure daycare wants me sending 5 pairs of pants with him. I think I may have the neighbors bring their son over tomorrow and see if that helps. I was thinking of having him come in the afternoon but maybe I'll have him come over in the morning and show my son the ropes.
As I sit here typing this I realize there is a towel lying next to me on the couch. Each time the kid has held it, he's been sitting on that towel. Hmmm....
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Potty Training Take 2
We are approximately 5 hours into this and we've slowed to 4 pairs of underwear. He's now eating lunch. Here's hoping something happens on the potty before we through a pull up on him for nap time. We've cleaned one couch cushion so far and that's it. The tarp I threw down is still dry.
John was sitting on the couch. Little Man climbed up behind him and sat on his shoulders. Granted he had just changed Little Man out of pair #3 and #4 but I can't decide if he is incredibly brave and trusting or a masochist.
John was sitting on the couch. Little Man climbed up behind him and sat on his shoulders. Granted he had just changed Little Man out of pair #3 and #4 but I can't decide if he is incredibly brave and trusting or a masochist.
Potty Training Day One
7:50 AM: Little Man is out of his pull up. He's wearing his big boy underwear. He chose Thomas of course. After a brief explanation of what was expected of him today (no peeing or pooping in your underwear but accidents happen and today was to be a learning experience for all of us) we moved onto breakfast.
He's munching on a cereal bar. I'm making coffee and loading the dishwasher. John is doing his usual - bouncing between taking orders from me and from Little Man. Little Man turns whiny on us which is never pleasant first thing in the morning.
"I hurt daddy. I hurt".
How did you hurt yourself?
"I hurt".
You're not hurt honey. You're wet. You peed.
We haven't been awake for a full hour and we are already through our first pair of underwear and PJs. We've moved on to sweat pants of which the kid only owns 2. Once he's through those, I'll convince him that he doesn't want to wear pants today. A shirt and underwear is just fine.
Not even an hour into our day but he hit his first goal - he didn't freak out as I was expecting.
At least I thought to bring the laundry basket downstairs with us. I have a feeling I'll be doing at least one load today....
He's munching on a cereal bar. I'm making coffee and loading the dishwasher. John is doing his usual - bouncing between taking orders from me and from Little Man. Little Man turns whiny on us which is never pleasant first thing in the morning.
"I hurt daddy. I hurt".
How did you hurt yourself?
"I hurt".
You're not hurt honey. You're wet. You peed.
We haven't been awake for a full hour and we are already through our first pair of underwear and PJs. We've moved on to sweat pants of which the kid only owns 2. Once he's through those, I'll convince him that he doesn't want to wear pants today. A shirt and underwear is just fine.
Not even an hour into our day but he hit his first goal - he didn't freak out as I was expecting.
At least I thought to bring the laundry basket downstairs with us. I have a feeling I'll be doing at least one load today....
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Christmas at the Browns
Ah Christmas. I look forward to it every year. It was always a time of great joy as a child. It wasn't just the presents. It was the food and the family. Everyone came to our house. One side of the family would come for dinner. The other half would come later for second dinner and desert. Adults talking. Kids running and playing. I loved the craziness of it all. Family gatherings were wonderful.
But nothing last forever and our annual tradition ended a bit abruptly. In a blink we were left to build a new tradition. It took a bit to recover from the shock but we did build a new tradition; a quieter celebration in the White Mountains and I treasure those memories just as much as those of our lost tradition.
But children grow and start families of their own. Eventually the White Mountains faded from the tradition. By that time we had learned to adapt and change. Then Dad died and the joy of Christmas was gone. I did not think it would return. John tried on our first Christmas. He introduced me to Black Velvets and the tradition stuck. It was hard those first years without Dad. I spent a good portion of the day fighting tears and the rest giving into it. It wasn't the same without Dad.
Then Little Man entered our lives and I knew things would improve. As I prepare each year I regret that he is growing up so far from his cousins as my cousins were such an integral part of my childhood. I yearn to go back to the good ole days of the whole family gathering at one house; adults talking; children wreaking havoc.
His first two Christmases were more for me than for him as he was too young to understand but this year was different. This year I thought he would start to grasp it. I introduced him to Santa through the Night Before Christmas. I introduced him to the Grinch, The Polar Express, and Frosty. He was in love. He was excited.
A week or so before Christmas we made the mistake of referencing his birthday. He jumped on the bandwagon and has been clinging to it with all his might since. Forget Christmas. He wants his birthday cake (even though he has never actually eaten his cake. He just likes the idea of his cake).
We put him to bed Christmas Eve attempting to induce dreams of Santa and all his reindeer. He only wants to talk about his Birthday. 6 AM Christmas morning he crawls into bed with us but decides it is no longer sleepy time. "Mommy, I go downstairs. You come with me?". John and I both snap awake.
Do you think Santa came? I asked.
"No. Santa no come".
Well let's go downstairs and see.
Oh crap, we left the snack out for Santa. We didn't make cookies this year so we asked Little Man what snack he thought Santa would like. "GOLDFISH!" So I helped him put a bowl of Gold Fish out for Santa after we sprinkled oats on the front lawn for the reindeer. Little Man decided the fish were for him and Santa wanted soup (applesauce) instead. John had to excuse himself from our room to go down some blueberry applesauce. Upon his return, we convinced Little Man we should go check for signs that Santa had been here.
The living room is across from the stairs so he was able to see all the presents around the tree. It didn't register with him. So we tell him we'll go check the stockings which were hung on the mantle, over the fireplace which is in the dining room. It didn't register.
I didn't wrap the stocking stuffers. Hey, you try wrapping toy airplanes and helicopters that aren't packaged and see how well you do. That turned out to be wise and he dove in. He sat in front of the fireplace flying his planes and helicopters. I asked if he wanted to check out the presents under the tree. He ignored me. I took advantage and prepped the roast for the crock pot.
Some how, we convinced him to move to the living room and made the horrible mistake of having him open a couple of books first. He wasn't in the mood for reading so he stopped with the presents. After much cajoling, I convinced him to open one I knew was a toy.
"What is it Mommy? Open it Mommy! I play Mommy!"
And play he did. With that one present. It took hours. Actually, it took two days. He finally opened the last present the day after Christmas. The poor child was overwhelmed and exhausted. So overwhelmed in fact that he didn't jump back on the birthday wagon until today. Actually he jumped on the birthday cake wagon. When I mentioned presents his face went blank.
Last year his favorite present was a plasma car courtesy of my sister. When my sister's presents arrived for him this year I was thrilled and cursing her out at the same time. I was thrilled because I couldn't wait to play with them - magnetic building shapes and magnetic truck pieces. I was cursing her out because for a second year in a row she was going to outdo his parents. Its one thing to buy the cool present one year. It is a whole other thing to do it two years in a row.
Then the presents from the sister-in-law arrived. Tonka stunt tracks. So now I'm cursing out both of them. How dare they both gang up on me like that with no warning? How dare they try to outdo me? How DARE they?
Each year John and I make a list 8-10 presents that we will buy for Little Man and split between his birthday and Christmas. I did a pretty good job of sticking to it. Unfortunately we didn't discuss stocking stuffers and in my multiple shopping expeditions I kept forgetting how many planes and helicopters I had already purchased. Nothing budget breaking though.
On one excursion I saw something called HexBugs. The box said 3+ so I checked it out. I didn't think there was any way a 3 year old would be interested but our neighbor insisted they were awesome and he would love them. So that was my one splurge. Little did I realize my little splurge would be my saving grace.
He LOVES them. Yeah the blocks and trucks are cool and he enjoys playing with them. Yes he giggles in glee watching the dump truck and fire engine do their stunts but he LOVES his hexbugs. I should have bought spare batteries because at this rate, I'll need them by this weekend. He's even discovered they will work on the train track just not as much fin to watch.
I DID it! I WIN! I'm still COOL!
And incredibly immature.
But nothing last forever and our annual tradition ended a bit abruptly. In a blink we were left to build a new tradition. It took a bit to recover from the shock but we did build a new tradition; a quieter celebration in the White Mountains and I treasure those memories just as much as those of our lost tradition.
But children grow and start families of their own. Eventually the White Mountains faded from the tradition. By that time we had learned to adapt and change. Then Dad died and the joy of Christmas was gone. I did not think it would return. John tried on our first Christmas. He introduced me to Black Velvets and the tradition stuck. It was hard those first years without Dad. I spent a good portion of the day fighting tears and the rest giving into it. It wasn't the same without Dad.
Then Little Man entered our lives and I knew things would improve. As I prepare each year I regret that he is growing up so far from his cousins as my cousins were such an integral part of my childhood. I yearn to go back to the good ole days of the whole family gathering at one house; adults talking; children wreaking havoc.
His first two Christmases were more for me than for him as he was too young to understand but this year was different. This year I thought he would start to grasp it. I introduced him to Santa through the Night Before Christmas. I introduced him to the Grinch, The Polar Express, and Frosty. He was in love. He was excited.
A week or so before Christmas we made the mistake of referencing his birthday. He jumped on the bandwagon and has been clinging to it with all his might since. Forget Christmas. He wants his birthday cake (even though he has never actually eaten his cake. He just likes the idea of his cake).
We put him to bed Christmas Eve attempting to induce dreams of Santa and all his reindeer. He only wants to talk about his Birthday. 6 AM Christmas morning he crawls into bed with us but decides it is no longer sleepy time. "Mommy, I go downstairs. You come with me?". John and I both snap awake.
Do you think Santa came? I asked.
"No. Santa no come".
Well let's go downstairs and see.
Oh crap, we left the snack out for Santa. We didn't make cookies this year so we asked Little Man what snack he thought Santa would like. "GOLDFISH!" So I helped him put a bowl of Gold Fish out for Santa after we sprinkled oats on the front lawn for the reindeer. Little Man decided the fish were for him and Santa wanted soup (applesauce) instead. John had to excuse himself from our room to go down some blueberry applesauce. Upon his return, we convinced Little Man we should go check for signs that Santa had been here.
The living room is across from the stairs so he was able to see all the presents around the tree. It didn't register with him. So we tell him we'll go check the stockings which were hung on the mantle, over the fireplace which is in the dining room. It didn't register.
I didn't wrap the stocking stuffers. Hey, you try wrapping toy airplanes and helicopters that aren't packaged and see how well you do. That turned out to be wise and he dove in. He sat in front of the fireplace flying his planes and helicopters. I asked if he wanted to check out the presents under the tree. He ignored me. I took advantage and prepped the roast for the crock pot.
Some how, we convinced him to move to the living room and made the horrible mistake of having him open a couple of books first. He wasn't in the mood for reading so he stopped with the presents. After much cajoling, I convinced him to open one I knew was a toy.
"What is it Mommy? Open it Mommy! I play Mommy!"
And play he did. With that one present. It took hours. Actually, it took two days. He finally opened the last present the day after Christmas. The poor child was overwhelmed and exhausted. So overwhelmed in fact that he didn't jump back on the birthday wagon until today. Actually he jumped on the birthday cake wagon. When I mentioned presents his face went blank.
Last year his favorite present was a plasma car courtesy of my sister. When my sister's presents arrived for him this year I was thrilled and cursing her out at the same time. I was thrilled because I couldn't wait to play with them - magnetic building shapes and magnetic truck pieces. I was cursing her out because for a second year in a row she was going to outdo his parents. Its one thing to buy the cool present one year. It is a whole other thing to do it two years in a row.
Then the presents from the sister-in-law arrived. Tonka stunt tracks. So now I'm cursing out both of them. How dare they both gang up on me like that with no warning? How dare they try to outdo me? How DARE they?
Each year John and I make a list 8-10 presents that we will buy for Little Man and split between his birthday and Christmas. I did a pretty good job of sticking to it. Unfortunately we didn't discuss stocking stuffers and in my multiple shopping expeditions I kept forgetting how many planes and helicopters I had already purchased. Nothing budget breaking though.
On one excursion I saw something called HexBugs. The box said 3+ so I checked it out. I didn't think there was any way a 3 year old would be interested but our neighbor insisted they were awesome and he would love them. So that was my one splurge. Little did I realize my little splurge would be my saving grace.
He LOVES them. Yeah the blocks and trucks are cool and he enjoys playing with them. Yes he giggles in glee watching the dump truck and fire engine do their stunts but he LOVES his hexbugs. I should have bought spare batteries because at this rate, I'll need them by this weekend. He's even discovered they will work on the train track just not as much fin to watch.
I DID it! I WIN! I'm still COOL!
And incredibly immature.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Mommy Not Listening
The countdown has begun. We are at -2 days before full blown potty training begins. Prep work started today. I bought 21 - yes 21 pairs of underwear. I wanted 2-3 packs of plain white underwear and one pack of character underwear. Apparently they don't like to sell plain white underwear for his age. Apparently they market towards kids' desires rather than parents' desires. I want to be able to use the character underwear as a bribe. Have the manufacturers of toddler underwear never bribed their own kids? Are their kids that freaking wonderful that they've never had to resort to such measures? What is wrong with these people?
At least the makers of Resolve are a little more understanding. I was able to buy the super size of the High Traffic Resolve and the spot cleaner. I am convinced Resolve was invented by the parent of a toddler during potty training.
As for the person who decided wall-to-wall carpeting was ever a great idea also never had toddlers requiring potty training. That or his child reached the potty training stage during the warmer months and just kept the kid outside all day. I am seriously kicking myself for not putting down hardwood the second we moved in. Please don't tell me to keep Little Man in the kitchen the entire time. Trust me - it isn't big enough.
We do have a tarp though. My mother-in-law had the foresight to get us a tarp designed for toddlers. It saved the carpet in my dining room several times (yes, someone with a toddler thought wall-to-wall carpeting in the dining room was a bright idea. I'm thinking they put it down shortly before selling and made the kid eat on the kitchen floor until after they moved). So the tarp will be coming out to cover any area this kid feels like standing in. It, unlike my carpet, is machine washable.
My neighbors do have a steam cleaner. I will be borrowing it. Either that or I'll call the whole thing a wash and take the money set aside to landscape the front yard next spring to replace the carpet. That's one way to get me off my lazy butt and put in my much desired hardwood.
After picking up the underwear today we stopped at Barnes & Noble for some potty books. The one we have hasn't caught Little Man's attention. I was on a mission. I was going to find an Elmo potty book. Yes. Elmo. I bought an Elmo book. That damn red monster - my arch nemesis and yet I need to call him in; need to work out a truce to get me through this weekend. He responds to that annoying little creature. What book do I find? One with sounds. So not only do I have that damn creature in my house but I have his voice in my house. Because my son will listen to him. I HATE Elmo.
I also found a book called the Potty Train. Little Man also responds to trains. If I am really lucky he'll decide that is the cooler book but I'm not holding my breath.
I showed him the underwear tonight. I told him they were big boy underwear. "I no like big boy underwear" and he walked away.
But they have Thomas, and James, and Percy...
I hate being ignored almost as much as I hate Elmo. For a split second I contemplated digging out the Spiderman underwear but decided to change tactics. I showed him the books. He got all excited until he discovered each one revolved around the potty. Ignored again.
Fast forward a few minutes and he's being unceremoniously carried upstairs by his father and dumped in his room for kicking and hitting his father. We let him scream his fool head off for several minutes before bringing puppy, Grinch, and books upstairs as it was close to bedtime anyway.
I get him calmed down enough where he can apologize to his father. Then have to calm him again as he doesn't want to go to bed before I can get him in his PJs. I tell him to choose a book. That calms him completely. He curls up in my lap and proceeds to thoroughly enjoy Elmo. He even sits through the potty train but he still won't go potty. I think I should have started this a year ago. At this rate, he will be in pull ups until Kindergarten.
So as I sit on the floor of his room ruing that I will be spending the last few days of my vacation cleaning up all sorts of nastiness from rugs and upholstery (because you know I won't be able to keep him off the couch and chairs entirely) and clothes he turns to me and says: "Mommy, I call Amah. You not listening to me".
He proceeds to dial his hand phone. "Hi Amah. Mommy not listening to me. OK. Bye".
A sign of things to come.
At least the makers of Resolve are a little more understanding. I was able to buy the super size of the High Traffic Resolve and the spot cleaner. I am convinced Resolve was invented by the parent of a toddler during potty training.
As for the person who decided wall-to-wall carpeting was ever a great idea also never had toddlers requiring potty training. That or his child reached the potty training stage during the warmer months and just kept the kid outside all day. I am seriously kicking myself for not putting down hardwood the second we moved in. Please don't tell me to keep Little Man in the kitchen the entire time. Trust me - it isn't big enough.
We do have a tarp though. My mother-in-law had the foresight to get us a tarp designed for toddlers. It saved the carpet in my dining room several times (yes, someone with a toddler thought wall-to-wall carpeting in the dining room was a bright idea. I'm thinking they put it down shortly before selling and made the kid eat on the kitchen floor until after they moved). So the tarp will be coming out to cover any area this kid feels like standing in. It, unlike my carpet, is machine washable.
My neighbors do have a steam cleaner. I will be borrowing it. Either that or I'll call the whole thing a wash and take the money set aside to landscape the front yard next spring to replace the carpet. That's one way to get me off my lazy butt and put in my much desired hardwood.
After picking up the underwear today we stopped at Barnes & Noble for some potty books. The one we have hasn't caught Little Man's attention. I was on a mission. I was going to find an Elmo potty book. Yes. Elmo. I bought an Elmo book. That damn red monster - my arch nemesis and yet I need to call him in; need to work out a truce to get me through this weekend. He responds to that annoying little creature. What book do I find? One with sounds. So not only do I have that damn creature in my house but I have his voice in my house. Because my son will listen to him. I HATE Elmo.
I also found a book called the Potty Train. Little Man also responds to trains. If I am really lucky he'll decide that is the cooler book but I'm not holding my breath.
I showed him the underwear tonight. I told him they were big boy underwear. "I no like big boy underwear" and he walked away.
But they have Thomas, and James, and Percy...
I hate being ignored almost as much as I hate Elmo. For a split second I contemplated digging out the Spiderman underwear but decided to change tactics. I showed him the books. He got all excited until he discovered each one revolved around the potty. Ignored again.
Fast forward a few minutes and he's being unceremoniously carried upstairs by his father and dumped in his room for kicking and hitting his father. We let him scream his fool head off for several minutes before bringing puppy, Grinch, and books upstairs as it was close to bedtime anyway.
I get him calmed down enough where he can apologize to his father. Then have to calm him again as he doesn't want to go to bed before I can get him in his PJs. I tell him to choose a book. That calms him completely. He curls up in my lap and proceeds to thoroughly enjoy Elmo. He even sits through the potty train but he still won't go potty. I think I should have started this a year ago. At this rate, he will be in pull ups until Kindergarten.
So as I sit on the floor of his room ruing that I will be spending the last few days of my vacation cleaning up all sorts of nastiness from rugs and upholstery (because you know I won't be able to keep him off the couch and chairs entirely) and clothes he turns to me and says: "Mommy, I call Amah. You not listening to me".
He proceeds to dial his hand phone. "Hi Amah. Mommy not listening to me. OK. Bye".
A sign of things to come.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Christmas vs Birthday
The tree is up and decorated. The village and mantle are set. The presents are wrapped. Cranberry bread is baked. So besides the dozens of cranberry muffins I will be baking the day before and distributing along with the cranberry bread to friends and neighbors we are all done.
Little Man's present from my mom arrived last night. Included was the traditional Christmas ornament she buys for each grandchild every year. This year's batch came from her trip to New Mexico. Due to the fact that it was a hand-crafted star made from metal, it wasn't wrapped unless you count the bubble wrap. I think that was more to protect the other wrapped presents. The edges are a tad sharp. Due to the sharpness, we nixed the idea of letting Little Man open it. Instead we placed it directly on the tree.
I showed him the ornament this evening when we returned home as I completely forgot about it during the morning rush. Normally, this would be something of extreme excitement for him. His ornament. He loves his ornaments. I told him it was from Amah. That should have created even more excitement. He loves his Amah.
Nope.
"MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!"
The kid has completely bypass Christmas; a holiday involving presents which occurs in 3 days for his birthday; a "holiday" involving presents which occurs in 11 days.
Maybe it is time to introduce this kid to a calendar.
Little Man's present from my mom arrived last night. Included was the traditional Christmas ornament she buys for each grandchild every year. This year's batch came from her trip to New Mexico. Due to the fact that it was a hand-crafted star made from metal, it wasn't wrapped unless you count the bubble wrap. I think that was more to protect the other wrapped presents. The edges are a tad sharp. Due to the sharpness, we nixed the idea of letting Little Man open it. Instead we placed it directly on the tree.
I showed him the ornament this evening when we returned home as I completely forgot about it during the morning rush. Normally, this would be something of extreme excitement for him. His ornament. He loves his ornaments. I told him it was from Amah. That should have created even more excitement. He loves his Amah.
Nope.
"MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!"
The kid has completely bypass Christmas; a holiday involving presents which occurs in 3 days for his birthday; a "holiday" involving presents which occurs in 11 days.
Maybe it is time to introduce this kid to a calendar.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My Christmas
I’ve held off on the Picture with Santa. Little Man is not fond of strangers. While he doesn’t always attempt to burrow into me, he is still painfully shy around strangers. It has put a slight damper on trying to teach him what to do if we should ever become separated in public but we’ll get there. So for now I keep a hand on him at all times and if that isn’t possible, he knows he must not leave my line of sight. Again, his fear of strangers comes in handy as he doesn’t stray from my side when in public.
I was never overly fond of Santa in person as a child either. I preferred the idea of Santa and his elves living the good life in the North Pole making toys, drinking cider and eating candy canes all day long. That was the life as far as I was concerned and I thought it was beyond cool that he didn’t have to get in a car and sit in traffic. He had a cool sled and flying reindeer. Each Christmas Eve I would sneak out of bed and run to the window to catch a glimpse of him and then one year… there it was; a tiny red light off in the distance. RUDOLPH! I was so excited my whole family came running. OOPS! Busted! I didn’t care. I saw Rudolph! He was right there up in the sky. My favorite reindeer of all was there. Santa was coming.
Mom reminded me that Santa would not come to our house until I was asleep and he would know if I wasn’t so I crawled back into bed and tried oh so hard to fall asleep but my heart was racing and all I could think of was I finally had my chance to play with Rudolph. Oh the fun we would have. He was going to be my new best friend. I did eventually fall asleep so Santa was able to make his visit.
It wasn’t until years later when my bedtime moved further out that I realized the only visible part of an airplane at night was the red light. That made me think and then I remembered the look on my parents’ and siblings’ faces and was finally able to judge the look with an adult’s eye. Give them credit for keeping a straight face as I have not yet fully mastered that one yet.
Little Man is starting to show signs of excitement for Santa. He shrieked with glee at the mall last weekend when he saw him from a distance. Frosty, The Grinch and The Night Before Christmas are fast becoming favorite reads. The magic is starting to take root.
Along with the magic comes a parent’s favorite threat. Santa only delivers toys to good little boys and girls. We’ve used that one a lot of late; perhaps a little too much. I awoke last night a little before 1 AM to Little Man crying pretty hard. I rush into his room to find him half asleep, tears streaming down his face rocking in bed. I gather him into my lap and ask what’s wrong.
“My Christmas! Don’t take my Christmas!”
I almost started crying with him except I was stifling laughter. I tried to get out of him who was taking his Christmas but he was too upset and still half asleep so I gave into my guilt and brought him into our bed. My guilt was short-lived. I was talking to John on my drive to the office this morning and I told him we may want to back off that threat a little bit. He was very nice in pointing out that I had already used it at least once first thing this morning.
Scar #2 Little Man will be blaming me for.
I was never overly fond of Santa in person as a child either. I preferred the idea of Santa and his elves living the good life in the North Pole making toys, drinking cider and eating candy canes all day long. That was the life as far as I was concerned and I thought it was beyond cool that he didn’t have to get in a car and sit in traffic. He had a cool sled and flying reindeer. Each Christmas Eve I would sneak out of bed and run to the window to catch a glimpse of him and then one year… there it was; a tiny red light off in the distance. RUDOLPH! I was so excited my whole family came running. OOPS! Busted! I didn’t care. I saw Rudolph! He was right there up in the sky. My favorite reindeer of all was there. Santa was coming.
Mom reminded me that Santa would not come to our house until I was asleep and he would know if I wasn’t so I crawled back into bed and tried oh so hard to fall asleep but my heart was racing and all I could think of was I finally had my chance to play with Rudolph. Oh the fun we would have. He was going to be my new best friend. I did eventually fall asleep so Santa was able to make his visit.
It wasn’t until years later when my bedtime moved further out that I realized the only visible part of an airplane at night was the red light. That made me think and then I remembered the look on my parents’ and siblings’ faces and was finally able to judge the look with an adult’s eye. Give them credit for keeping a straight face as I have not yet fully mastered that one yet.
Little Man is starting to show signs of excitement for Santa. He shrieked with glee at the mall last weekend when he saw him from a distance. Frosty, The Grinch and The Night Before Christmas are fast becoming favorite reads. The magic is starting to take root.
Along with the magic comes a parent’s favorite threat. Santa only delivers toys to good little boys and girls. We’ve used that one a lot of late; perhaps a little too much. I awoke last night a little before 1 AM to Little Man crying pretty hard. I rush into his room to find him half asleep, tears streaming down his face rocking in bed. I gather him into my lap and ask what’s wrong.
“My Christmas! Don’t take my Christmas!”
I almost started crying with him except I was stifling laughter. I tried to get out of him who was taking his Christmas but he was too upset and still half asleep so I gave into my guilt and brought him into our bed. My guilt was short-lived. I was talking to John on my drive to the office this morning and I told him we may want to back off that threat a little bit. He was very nice in pointing out that I had already used it at least once first thing this morning.
Scar #2 Little Man will be blaming me for.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Buying Christmas
Little Man woke me this morning by pulling the blankets off me. Then he grabbed my arm and tried pulling me out of bed.
"Time to get up Mommy".
Go talk to your father.
"No! I no talk to Daddy! Daddy not feeling well. Daddy ex-hoss-ed. He need sleep!"
That is almost verbatim what John has been telling Little Man about me the past few days. Apparently I've had enough of a reprieve and it was John's turn. Since when does he conspire with his father against me?
I look at the clock. 8:58 AM. This kid let us sleep in? How is it possible that the Universe is smiling at me this morning? I spent last night laughing at my poor husband who is losing his voice. I fully expected Karma to aim her sites at my big ole booty and launch me into the stratosphere. I still have my voice albeit scratchy and hoarser than usual and I get to sleep in until 9? Just what exactly does she have planned for me?
I somehow manage to get Little Man back on my side and he gives John the same wake-up treatment of removing all covers. I ask him if he has bought Daddy a Christmas present.
"Oh no. I have to go to the store to buy Christmas". So much for the 50 million viewings of the Grinch sinking in. The poor kid. He doesn't grasp the concept of Christmas as an adjective. We have to turn the Christmas on (plug in the tree). He grasps birthday present but for some reason Christmas present is beyond him We have to go to the store to buy Christmas. Or maybe he just doesn't fully grasp it when talking about his father.
Have you bought Mommy a Christmas present yet?
"Oh yes Mommy. I get you a car!"
That is the exact attitude to have at Christmas child. Keep it up andI'll you'll do ok. By the time you have the money to swap out the matchbox you are about to give me for the real thing, I'll be ready to trade in my SUV for a corvette..... black..... convertible....
"Time to get up Mommy".
Go talk to your father.
"No! I no talk to Daddy! Daddy not feeling well. Daddy ex-hoss-ed. He need sleep!"
That is almost verbatim what John has been telling Little Man about me the past few days. Apparently I've had enough of a reprieve and it was John's turn. Since when does he conspire with his father against me?
I look at the clock. 8:58 AM. This kid let us sleep in? How is it possible that the Universe is smiling at me this morning? I spent last night laughing at my poor husband who is losing his voice. I fully expected Karma to aim her sites at my big ole booty and launch me into the stratosphere. I still have my voice albeit scratchy and hoarser than usual and I get to sleep in until 9? Just what exactly does she have planned for me?
I somehow manage to get Little Man back on my side and he gives John the same wake-up treatment of removing all covers. I ask him if he has bought Daddy a Christmas present.
"Oh no. I have to go to the store to buy Christmas". So much for the 50 million viewings of the Grinch sinking in. The poor kid. He doesn't grasp the concept of Christmas as an adjective. We have to turn the Christmas on (plug in the tree). He grasps birthday present but for some reason Christmas present is beyond him We have to go to the store to buy Christmas. Or maybe he just doesn't fully grasp it when talking about his father.
Have you bought Mommy a Christmas present yet?
"Oh yes Mommy. I get you a car!"
That is the exact attitude to have at Christmas child. Keep it up and
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Holiday Prep
I fell off the face of the earth for awhile. I needed a certification for work. Many things suffered during the time I spent studying. Little Man's potty training seemed to fall into the nether world of a black hole. John spent most of his time taking care of Little Man while I spent the majority of my time attached to my laptop studying, googling, and studying some more. I was lucky though. Little Man still knows who I am.
It all paid off. I passed my test. Yay me. One down. 2 more to go. I'll spend the next couple of weeks prepping for and then enjoying the holidays before I start my crash course on my next certification.
I did manage to squeeze in some Christmas shopping. I'm almost done. Of course I still need to ship a few presents. I love the Post Office. I love their rates. I do not; however, like their lines this time of year. Every year I say I won't wait until the last minute to buy and ship presents. Every year I think I can do all my shopping on line. Every year I crack myself up.
I had a list for the nieces and nephews. Michael's still doesn't have on-line shopping. So of course the one perfect present for 2 of my nieces could only be found there. The line was long but I've seen longer and they moved it fast.
I even ventured to TRU. Anyone who willingly goes to TRU during the Christmas season is a masochist. I was dreading it. Fortunately the parking lot was not completely full. We went in with a list and grabbed everything quickly with the exception of a present for one of my nieces. All I got out of my mom was Barbie accessories. I found the Barbie aisle and told John to stay off to the side of another aisle with Little Man because of course it was jammed. There was no pushing or grabbing. Instead there was a lot of hemming and hawing. Apparently I wasn't the only one who was a little overwhelmed at the selection. One couple had a list consisting of almost all Barbie accessories. Do you know that Barbie now has a jet. A JET! Available at the great low price of $89.95. My niece is not getting a Barbie jet. At least not from me. I made my selection in record time (based solely on the scientific fact that I entered the aisle last but left first).
From there we headed to the checkout line. Sweet Mother. I looked in the cart and pulled out my phone. I hit their web site to see if everything we were purchasing was available on line. I was going to scratch the checkout line, head home and hit the laptop instead but I couldn't find everything on line. They didn't have it. They didn't even show the items. WHAT? Who does that?
Ah yes. If you shop on line you are less apt to make impulsive buys. Restrict your on line selection during the holiday season pushes everyone back into the stores and increases your sales. Sorry to disappoint TRU. This year, I held firm. I will give you kudos though. I've only seen one other corporation manage lines like that. Walt would have been proud of you.
So the insanity of Holiday prep work is almost over and I'm able to enjoy myself. Little Man runs into the house each night to "turn on the Christmas" (tree) and the village. His presents are wrapped and hidden with the exception of the train set his grandparents bought him. That will be set up Christmas Eve (it isn't Christmas until you are up all night assembling something).
He's fascinated with Frosty. All the snowman stocking hooks are Frosty and we spend many moments discussing their actions, clothing, and singing the song. He's slowly getting excited about Santa coming. Well actually he's excited about getting presents. When I told him Santa would not only leave him presents while he was asleep but would do it by coming down the chimney he seemed a tad concerned. I've caught him staring at the fireplace with his head cocked several times. Then he shakes his head and walks away.
He'll adapt. He's very good at that. I introduced him to the Nightmare in My Closet book. Now daddy is always the Monster. Each night he races upstairs, dragging me with him. He runs into his room yelling "we hide mommy, we hide. Quick un'er the covers mommy!". Tonight he placed puppy under a blanket and said "Don't worry Puppy. I shoot the monster." He ran into our room where John was putting away laundry and "Pyew! Pyew!" Apparently he needs to work on his aim as the monster chased him back into his room and right into the safety of Mommy's lap.
It all paid off. I passed my test. Yay me. One down. 2 more to go. I'll spend the next couple of weeks prepping for and then enjoying the holidays before I start my crash course on my next certification.
I did manage to squeeze in some Christmas shopping. I'm almost done. Of course I still need to ship a few presents. I love the Post Office. I love their rates. I do not; however, like their lines this time of year. Every year I say I won't wait until the last minute to buy and ship presents. Every year I think I can do all my shopping on line. Every year I crack myself up.
I had a list for the nieces and nephews. Michael's still doesn't have on-line shopping. So of course the one perfect present for 2 of my nieces could only be found there. The line was long but I've seen longer and they moved it fast.
I even ventured to TRU. Anyone who willingly goes to TRU during the Christmas season is a masochist. I was dreading it. Fortunately the parking lot was not completely full. We went in with a list and grabbed everything quickly with the exception of a present for one of my nieces. All I got out of my mom was Barbie accessories. I found the Barbie aisle and told John to stay off to the side of another aisle with Little Man because of course it was jammed. There was no pushing or grabbing. Instead there was a lot of hemming and hawing. Apparently I wasn't the only one who was a little overwhelmed at the selection. One couple had a list consisting of almost all Barbie accessories. Do you know that Barbie now has a jet. A JET! Available at the great low price of $89.95. My niece is not getting a Barbie jet. At least not from me. I made my selection in record time (based solely on the scientific fact that I entered the aisle last but left first).
From there we headed to the checkout line. Sweet Mother. I looked in the cart and pulled out my phone. I hit their web site to see if everything we were purchasing was available on line. I was going to scratch the checkout line, head home and hit the laptop instead but I couldn't find everything on line. They didn't have it. They didn't even show the items. WHAT? Who does that?
Ah yes. If you shop on line you are less apt to make impulsive buys. Restrict your on line selection during the holiday season pushes everyone back into the stores and increases your sales. Sorry to disappoint TRU. This year, I held firm. I will give you kudos though. I've only seen one other corporation manage lines like that. Walt would have been proud of you.
So the insanity of Holiday prep work is almost over and I'm able to enjoy myself. Little Man runs into the house each night to "turn on the Christmas" (tree) and the village. His presents are wrapped and hidden with the exception of the train set his grandparents bought him. That will be set up Christmas Eve (it isn't Christmas until you are up all night assembling something).
He's fascinated with Frosty. All the snowman stocking hooks are Frosty and we spend many moments discussing their actions, clothing, and singing the song. He's slowly getting excited about Santa coming. Well actually he's excited about getting presents. When I told him Santa would not only leave him presents while he was asleep but would do it by coming down the chimney he seemed a tad concerned. I've caught him staring at the fireplace with his head cocked several times. Then he shakes his head and walks away.
He'll adapt. He's very good at that. I introduced him to the Nightmare in My Closet book. Now daddy is always the Monster. Each night he races upstairs, dragging me with him. He runs into his room yelling "we hide mommy, we hide. Quick un'er the covers mommy!". Tonight he placed puppy under a blanket and said "Don't worry Puppy. I shoot the monster." He ran into our room where John was putting away laundry and "Pyew! Pyew!" Apparently he needs to work on his aim as the monster chased him back into his room and right into the safety of Mommy's lap.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Rock A My Baby
Bedtime is fun. Little Man runs around the upstairs barking and panting like a puppy ignoring my pleas and my threats to get back in his room and get ready for bed. He's had a fever at night the past two nights so I had to take his temp. He snagged the thermometer from me saying he would do it. Little Mr. Independent now wants to take his own temperature. Did I mention I am the cruelest mom in the world? No under the arm or under the tongue in this house yet. Yes, feel for my poor child. The horrors he must bear. Apparently one of his coping measures it to try to do it himself. Apparently that is slightly less humiliating. Alas no luck. Let the humiliation ensue.
The humiliation was short-lived and he recovered instantaneously as he saw the little red light appear on the thermometer.
"I have fever?"
Yes baby. You have a fever.
"I like fever mommy".
I'm still shaking my head over that one.
We move on to reading Frosty (singing actually) and The Night Before Christmas (it helps reinforce the Santa's Good List bribe I've been working the past two weeks). Right before he goes to bed we have to move onto our new evening routine. I cradle him in my arms and sing Rock A Bye Baby (Rock A My Baby according to Little Man). As I hit the last line I "drop" him in bed.
It is John's night to stay with him. Our time spent sitting in his room has drastically shorten as we are (slowly) preparing (ourselves) to end this routine. He is laying on his pillow, one leg extended and one leg bent. He turns to his father and says "Daddy I pee".
You pee or you have to pee?
"I pee daddy".
You pee where exactly?
"In my pull up daddy. I pee right now" he states pointing to his pull up.
That's a step in potty training right? Please tell me it is a step. Ah, forget it, I'm making it a step.
The humiliation was short-lived and he recovered instantaneously as he saw the little red light appear on the thermometer.
"I have fever?"
Yes baby. You have a fever.
"I like fever mommy".
I'm still shaking my head over that one.
We move on to reading Frosty (singing actually) and The Night Before Christmas (it helps reinforce the Santa's Good List bribe I've been working the past two weeks). Right before he goes to bed we have to move onto our new evening routine. I cradle him in my arms and sing Rock A Bye Baby (Rock A My Baby according to Little Man). As I hit the last line I "drop" him in bed.
It is John's night to stay with him. Our time spent sitting in his room has drastically shorten as we are (slowly) preparing (ourselves) to end this routine. He is laying on his pillow, one leg extended and one leg bent. He turns to his father and says "Daddy I pee".
You pee or you have to pee?
"I pee daddy".
You pee where exactly?
"In my pull up daddy. I pee right now" he states pointing to his pull up.
That's a step in potty training right? Please tell me it is a step. Ah, forget it, I'm making it a step.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sleepy Time, Bananas and Oranges
We tried a new tactic last night. We told Little Man that he could not come into our room our room until he heard our alarms. "No mommy. The alarm is off." Oh trust me child. It will be.
At least now when he crawls into bed with us, he goes back to sleep. He used to treat our bed as play time. Of course he climbed into bed with us. No PJs but he did have a pull up. One good thing. It takes him no time at all to completely take over my side of the bed. I had a the start of a foot cramp. No sooner do I stand up to break it then he spreads out leaving me the foot of the bed. We tried moving him but he woke right up and I wasn't in the mood for a cry fest so I put him back in bed making room for myself.
Yeah. Right. That worked. For all of 2 seconds.
So I'm now lying with my head at the foot of the bed and using my legs to provide a barrier so he doesn't roll off. John and I are discussing our options in a whisper. Little Man pops up, taps my leg and says "No Talking Mommy! Sleepy time!" and promptly goes back to sleep.
Oh so it is sleepy time when you want it to be. I see how you think it is. Think kiddo. Think. Reality is a whole other ballgame.
Tonight's procrastination involved his eyes. I asked him what was wrong.
"They are black... They are black... They are black and white!"
Kiss kiss and back to bed child.
Then his ears were bothering him. I take a look and they are covered in dirt and dried wax. I take him into my bathroom for a little warm water and a washing.
"Knock knock mommy".
Who's there?
"Banana".
Banana who?
Eyes drift back and forth.
"Orange?"
I laughed. He's pleased with himself. Can't wait to teach him about searching for blueberries.
At least now when he crawls into bed with us, he goes back to sleep. He used to treat our bed as play time. Of course he climbed into bed with us. No PJs but he did have a pull up. One good thing. It takes him no time at all to completely take over my side of the bed. I had a the start of a foot cramp. No sooner do I stand up to break it then he spreads out leaving me the foot of the bed. We tried moving him but he woke right up and I wasn't in the mood for a cry fest so I put him back in bed making room for myself.
Yeah. Right. That worked. For all of 2 seconds.
So I'm now lying with my head at the foot of the bed and using my legs to provide a barrier so he doesn't roll off. John and I are discussing our options in a whisper. Little Man pops up, taps my leg and says "No Talking Mommy! Sleepy time!" and promptly goes back to sleep.
Oh so it is sleepy time when you want it to be. I see how you think it is. Think kiddo. Think. Reality is a whole other ballgame.
Tonight's procrastination involved his eyes. I asked him what was wrong.
"They are black... They are black... They are black and white!"
Kiss kiss and back to bed child.
Then his ears were bothering him. I take a look and they are covered in dirt and dried wax. I take him into my bathroom for a little warm water and a washing.
"Knock knock mommy".
Who's there?
"Banana".
Banana who?
Eyes drift back and forth.
"Orange?"
I laughed. He's pleased with himself. Can't wait to teach him about searching for blueberries.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Laughter Keeps You Young
Little Man still doesn't grasp the concept of one phase at a time. Nor does he understand that he is not allowed to skip a phase and then go back to it at a later date.
Enter Naked Baby phase with a twist. He waits until we go downstairs to strip down. The first 2 nights it was no big deal. We threw a blanket over him and let the sleeping child lie. The 3rd night I peaked in and though everything was fine. His leg was bare but I figured his pant leg had rolled up on him. John actually went into the room to check on him. He is a very smart man. Not only had Little Man stripped off his PJs but he'd stripped his pull-up as well.
Now there have been countless times that I've taken this kid out of the car and gotten him upstairs in bed without waking him but the second I try to remove his shoes his eyes are wide. Now I've got to get a pull-up back on him at 11 PM? Sweet Mother have mercy.
I try the gentle route but all he does is curl back up on me. I'm starting to get a bit nervous that if I don't solve this problem quickly I'll be changing sheets and mattress pad as well as trying to get a pull-up back on him. Gentleness goes out the window. I grab the kid's legs and wrestle him into his pull-up. He signs, curls up and eyes remain shut. Of course I almost woke him with my laughter/hootin and hollerin at my success.
We are also trying to get him to sleep in his own bed the entire night. We've had some success but have discovered a direct correlation to how warm he stays at night. So much for one battle at a time. For each night he stays in his own room, he gets a matchbox car.
Yes. I bribe my kid. My conscience is clear but you do not reserve the right to remind me of this when he turns 16 and gets his license as I'm instituting a statue of limitations.
John put Little Man to bed one night and reminded him how he could get a car. Kid slept for an hour, woke up and demanded a car. Guess we have to work on his concept of time. I haven't pushed this issue. Forget the song It's 5 O'clock Somewhere. In Little Man's world, every day is Friday. I think I like his world better.
The other night he attempted to climb into bed with us. After kicking John below the belt, he was put back in his own room. He waited until John would be too sleepy to think through his actions and came back in. When the sun finally cracked the horizon he woke me up trying to claim he had slept in his own bed all night and I owed him a car.
Honey, not only is your father lying right next to me and can hear everything you are saying but we've already talked. I know you didn't spend all night in your bed. Nice try.
We did get him back into the routine the next night. The next morning he came to wake my but no mention of a car so I let it go. To date we haven't had to bribe him very long. Once he gets the hang of it we are able to talk him out of the bribes.
But as he grows so does his little mind. He waited until after he woke from his nap to remind me that I owed him a car. Sneaky lil imp. I had every intention of getting him a car. I really did but who the hell do you think he inherited Shiny Object Syndrome from? So I still owe him a car which he forgot about yet again.
I guarantee you tomorrow morning he will be demanding I give him two cars and if I cave, in a week he'll be demanding 3 per night slept in his own bed. I can't even tell him we are out. He'll just tell me to go to the store and buy more. Kind of like when I was little and ask my mom for something and she would say she didn't have the money. I'd respond "Just write a check".
A Mother's Revenge, Karma, whatever you want to call it, it is being dangled in my face just out of reach so I can't swat it out of the galaxy. Alas, laughter keeps you young so at this rate, my mom will live forever.
Enter Naked Baby phase with a twist. He waits until we go downstairs to strip down. The first 2 nights it was no big deal. We threw a blanket over him and let the sleeping child lie. The 3rd night I peaked in and though everything was fine. His leg was bare but I figured his pant leg had rolled up on him. John actually went into the room to check on him. He is a very smart man. Not only had Little Man stripped off his PJs but he'd stripped his pull-up as well.
Now there have been countless times that I've taken this kid out of the car and gotten him upstairs in bed without waking him but the second I try to remove his shoes his eyes are wide. Now I've got to get a pull-up back on him at 11 PM? Sweet Mother have mercy.
I try the gentle route but all he does is curl back up on me. I'm starting to get a bit nervous that if I don't solve this problem quickly I'll be changing sheets and mattress pad as well as trying to get a pull-up back on him. Gentleness goes out the window. I grab the kid's legs and wrestle him into his pull-up. He signs, curls up and eyes remain shut. Of course I almost woke him with my laughter/hootin and hollerin at my success.
We are also trying to get him to sleep in his own bed the entire night. We've had some success but have discovered a direct correlation to how warm he stays at night. So much for one battle at a time. For each night he stays in his own room, he gets a matchbox car.
Yes. I bribe my kid. My conscience is clear but you do not reserve the right to remind me of this when he turns 16 and gets his license as I'm instituting a statue of limitations.
John put Little Man to bed one night and reminded him how he could get a car. Kid slept for an hour, woke up and demanded a car. Guess we have to work on his concept of time. I haven't pushed this issue. Forget the song It's 5 O'clock Somewhere. In Little Man's world, every day is Friday. I think I like his world better.
The other night he attempted to climb into bed with us. After kicking John below the belt, he was put back in his own room. He waited until John would be too sleepy to think through his actions and came back in. When the sun finally cracked the horizon he woke me up trying to claim he had slept in his own bed all night and I owed him a car.
Honey, not only is your father lying right next to me and can hear everything you are saying but we've already talked. I know you didn't spend all night in your bed. Nice try.
We did get him back into the routine the next night. The next morning he came to wake my but no mention of a car so I let it go. To date we haven't had to bribe him very long. Once he gets the hang of it we are able to talk him out of the bribes.
But as he grows so does his little mind. He waited until after he woke from his nap to remind me that I owed him a car. Sneaky lil imp. I had every intention of getting him a car. I really did but who the hell do you think he inherited Shiny Object Syndrome from? So I still owe him a car which he forgot about yet again.
I guarantee you tomorrow morning he will be demanding I give him two cars and if I cave, in a week he'll be demanding 3 per night slept in his own bed. I can't even tell him we are out. He'll just tell me to go to the store and buy more. Kind of like when I was little and ask my mom for something and she would say she didn't have the money. I'd respond "Just write a check".
A Mother's Revenge, Karma, whatever you want to call it, it is being dangled in my face just out of reach so I can't swat it out of the galaxy. Alas, laughter keeps you young so at this rate, my mom will live forever.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
There is procrastination and then there is...
I marvel at his skills but am a tad concerned. How much more of a procrastinator can this kid become? Poor John put him to bed tonight but as usual, he didn't want to go to sleep. John made the mistake of saying everyone was asleep.
All the animals in the zoo? The Giraffe? The Monkey? The Zebra? Yes.
Old McDonald's animals? The cows? The sheep? The turkeys? The Donkeys? The chickens? Yes.
They sleep in the barn? Yes.
And Amah, and Uncle Mark, and... Yes. Everyone is asleep.
Daddy I farted. You wanna smell it? Come on daddy. Smell it!
All the animals in the zoo? The Giraffe? The Monkey? The Zebra? Yes.
Old McDonald's animals? The cows? The sheep? The turkeys? The Donkeys? The chickens? Yes.
They sleep in the barn? Yes.
And Amah, and Uncle Mark, and... Yes. Everyone is asleep.
Daddy I farted. You wanna smell it? Come on daddy. Smell it!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Whywhatisit?
I was dreading the "Why" phase until he entered the "What's that?" phase. As I answered that question for the 50th time in one day I wondered if "Why" would be worse or a welcome relief. I honestly didn't think anything could be worse but oh did he prove me wrong. Now I get to deal with the "What's that?" phase AND the "Why" phase. Yes both at once.
"What's that mommy?"
Could you at least point in the general direction of something?
"Why mommy?"
So I can figure out what you are talking about.
"But what is it?"
I don't know what it is.
"Why?"
Look honey a shiny object?
"Really mommy? Where? Oh wow mommy. What is it? Why mommy? Whywhatisit?"
He's also quickly mastering the art of procrastination. We both get many hugs and kisses before he'll crawl into bed each night and then another 10 for good measure once he's in bed. Tonight mommy was having none of it. Well, OK, I would only accept 99% before I told him to lay down, close his eyes and go to sleep.
As I sat in the glider in his room losing yet another game of Mahjong on my phone, he played with the zipper on his PJs. I told him to stop, close his eyes and go to sleep. I moved onto my 20th attempt at the damn bug layout my frustration level climbing when he rescued me by climbing out of bed to ask me a question.
He never got the chance to ask his question as I looked up and notice his PJs were off and he was standing in front of me in just a pull up.
"I pee mommy".
Did you pee or do you have to pee?
"Yes mommy"
Strip off the pull up, get him on the toilet and let him do his business.
Done?
"Nope. I poop mommy."
Well hurry up. You think I am have all night to sit here with you?
"Yes mommy. You sit all night"
He lasted in bed less than an hour when I could hear him calling to me. Of course I sent John up instead. Little man is standing at the top of the stairs, pull up off and dangling over the gate.
"Daddy I wet. I pee through Daddy."
Pull up bone dry. Sheet bone dry. Blanket bone dry.
Procrastination #2 complete.
Third time isn't always the charm Baby Boy.
Ah which reminds me of something. Yes, I still call him Baby Boy occasionally as does John. We'll be unpacking his stuff in his dorm room freshman year and I'll still be calling him Baby Boy. Poor kid. He and John were in the dining room the other night. It was time to go upstairs for bed so I called to Little Man. I heard him say to John "Come on Baby Boy. Time to go upstairs".
Did he just call me Baby Boy?
Yup. Get used to it baby.
"What's that mommy?"
Could you at least point in the general direction of something?
"Why mommy?"
So I can figure out what you are talking about.
"But what is it?"
I don't know what it is.
"Why?"
Look honey a shiny object?
"Really mommy? Where? Oh wow mommy. What is it? Why mommy? Whywhatisit?"
He's also quickly mastering the art of procrastination. We both get many hugs and kisses before he'll crawl into bed each night and then another 10 for good measure once he's in bed. Tonight mommy was having none of it. Well, OK, I would only accept 99% before I told him to lay down, close his eyes and go to sleep.
As I sat in the glider in his room losing yet another game of Mahjong on my phone, he played with the zipper on his PJs. I told him to stop, close his eyes and go to sleep. I moved onto my 20th attempt at the damn bug layout my frustration level climbing when he rescued me by climbing out of bed to ask me a question.
He never got the chance to ask his question as I looked up and notice his PJs were off and he was standing in front of me in just a pull up.
"I pee mommy".
Did you pee or do you have to pee?
"Yes mommy"
Strip off the pull up, get him on the toilet and let him do his business.
Done?
"Nope. I poop mommy."
Well hurry up. You think I am have all night to sit here with you?
"Yes mommy. You sit all night"
He lasted in bed less than an hour when I could hear him calling to me. Of course I sent John up instead. Little man is standing at the top of the stairs, pull up off and dangling over the gate.
"Daddy I wet. I pee through Daddy."
Pull up bone dry. Sheet bone dry. Blanket bone dry.
Procrastination #2 complete.
Third time isn't always the charm Baby Boy.
Ah which reminds me of something. Yes, I still call him Baby Boy occasionally as does John. We'll be unpacking his stuff in his dorm room freshman year and I'll still be calling him Baby Boy. Poor kid. He and John were in the dining room the other night. It was time to go upstairs for bed so I called to Little Man. I heard him say to John "Come on Baby Boy. Time to go upstairs".
Did he just call me Baby Boy?
Yup. Get used to it baby.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
All I'm Missing is the Mini Van
Picked up Little Man and came straight home. They were supposed to be paving the street so I parked the next street over. Gathered up all the crap. Grabbed Little Man and trudged home. Of course he decides he legs don't work so I'm carrying a laptop, purse, puppy, papers and him. Get to the house and discover a note from the HOA that the work was finish early so there was no need to move the car by 7 AM (hence parking elsewhere. I can't guarantee I can get out that early any more and I didn't want my car towed). Dump everything in the house. Grab Little Man and trudge back to the car.
15 minutes later we are back in the house. I get dinner started while 2 of the neighborhood girls entertain Little Man. They take off as John comes home (no it wasn't personal, really). We eat dinner. Little Man is non-stop on the food at dinner still. He's grown an inch in less than 2 months already and he's still eating me out of house and home. If he keeps this up, the wardrobe I just bought him will be done for.
John continues to feed him as I get our lunches for tomorrow ready. John and Little Man empty the dishwasher. I help load it up again and then its upstairs to get Little Man ready for bed. It is then I realize I was supposed to stop on the way home tonight and pick up more pull ups for daycare. We get Little Man settled in bed. John stays with and I make the mad dash to the store. Of course I drive the wrong way. 3 packages of pull ups and one bottle of ibuprofen later and I'm on my way home.
I managed to get all of this down in a little over 2 hours. If I can keep this up, I just may survive this whole parent thing. Of course, I don't have to worry about homework, after school sports, special projects, bake sales, school concerts, science fairs, art fairs. Sweet Mother how did my mom pull it off? I have one kid. She had three.
I've been home for an hour and I'm ready to crash but first I have to help John pick out a suit and tie for an interview tomorrow. Is it Friday yet?
I almost forgot. I lined up a "G" and an "O" on the fridge yesterday and asked Little Man what that spelled. Thanks to Go Dog Go, he's learning to spell small words. His answer?
OSTRICH!
15 minutes later we are back in the house. I get dinner started while 2 of the neighborhood girls entertain Little Man. They take off as John comes home (no it wasn't personal, really). We eat dinner. Little Man is non-stop on the food at dinner still. He's grown an inch in less than 2 months already and he's still eating me out of house and home. If he keeps this up, the wardrobe I just bought him will be done for.
John continues to feed him as I get our lunches for tomorrow ready. John and Little Man empty the dishwasher. I help load it up again and then its upstairs to get Little Man ready for bed. It is then I realize I was supposed to stop on the way home tonight and pick up more pull ups for daycare. We get Little Man settled in bed. John stays with and I make the mad dash to the store. Of course I drive the wrong way. 3 packages of pull ups and one bottle of ibuprofen later and I'm on my way home.
I managed to get all of this down in a little over 2 hours. If I can keep this up, I just may survive this whole parent thing. Of course, I don't have to worry about homework, after school sports, special projects, bake sales, school concerts, science fairs, art fairs. Sweet Mother how did my mom pull it off? I have one kid. She had three.
I've been home for an hour and I'm ready to crash but first I have to help John pick out a suit and tie for an interview tomorrow. Is it Friday yet?
I almost forgot. I lined up a "G" and an "O" on the fridge yesterday and asked Little Man what that spelled. Thanks to Go Dog Go, he's learning to spell small words. His answer?
OSTRICH!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Trick or Treat
I wanted to dress him as a Garden Gnome. He was quite emphatically against it. I went with the giraffe. I should have gone with the Energizer bunny. He kept going and going. He was so tired he began to have trouble navigating stairs but he wouldn't give up. He has an intense fear of dogs but that didn't stop him. Did I mention this kid doesn't eat candy?
I kept asking him if he was done which drew some shocked comments from one person who thought I was nuts as according to her, you trick or treat until you drop. I had to explain to her that he was dropping... himself... candy... but he kept going.
As we were leaving one house he told me he had to much. The gentleman at the door almost fell over. "Too much? I've never heard a kid say that before. There's no such thing." No, no, no - too much in his pumpkin and I showed him the overflowing pocket of my hoodie. Apparently I need to buy him a bigger pumpkin next year or just give him a pillowcase.
Then there was the whole Trick or Treat and Thank You thing. After he was given the candy and was turning to walk away he would say "Thank you. Trick or Treat. Happy Halloween."
I finally managed to convince him it was time to head home. I made the mistake of telling him he could help daddy hand out candy. "Nooo Mommy. It's my candy." I actually spent the entire walk home trying to explain it to him. It wasn't sinking in. The second we get to the house and he sees the cauldron full of candy - he got it.
Yeah. I'm brilliant.
So he stood outside way past his bedtime and for the majority of the time, in his costume, handing out candy. He would cock his head to one side and oh so sweetly ask the older kids if they wanted some candy. Unless they were wearing a scary mask. Then he would put his hand up signalling stop and scamper behind me. Gotta love these kids - all but one took their masks off for him.
So now I have an overflowing pumpkin full of sugar and chocolate with a child who doesn't eat any of it.
Mmm hmmm.... sure I took him Trick or Treating so he could have the experience and the fun and the joy and ....
I kept asking him if he was done which drew some shocked comments from one person who thought I was nuts as according to her, you trick or treat until you drop. I had to explain to her that he was dropping... himself... candy... but he kept going.
As we were leaving one house he told me he had to much. The gentleman at the door almost fell over. "Too much? I've never heard a kid say that before. There's no such thing." No, no, no - too much in his pumpkin and I showed him the overflowing pocket of my hoodie. Apparently I need to buy him a bigger pumpkin next year or just give him a pillowcase.
Then there was the whole Trick or Treat and Thank You thing. After he was given the candy and was turning to walk away he would say "Thank you. Trick or Treat. Happy Halloween."
I finally managed to convince him it was time to head home. I made the mistake of telling him he could help daddy hand out candy. "Nooo Mommy. It's my candy." I actually spent the entire walk home trying to explain it to him. It wasn't sinking in. The second we get to the house and he sees the cauldron full of candy - he got it.
Yeah. I'm brilliant.
So he stood outside way past his bedtime and for the majority of the time, in his costume, handing out candy. He would cock his head to one side and oh so sweetly ask the older kids if they wanted some candy. Unless they were wearing a scary mask. Then he would put his hand up signalling stop and scamper behind me. Gotta love these kids - all but one took their masks off for him.
So now I have an overflowing pumpkin full of sugar and chocolate with a child who doesn't eat any of it.
Mmm hmmm.... sure I took him Trick or Treating so he could have the experience and the fun and the joy and ....
Friday, October 22, 2010
An Ugly Lesson to Learn
It is wonderful that children are such sponges.
It is not so wonderful that they are exceptional mimics.
I learned to control my language. Most of the time. I learned that swapping out the F bomb with OH CRAP wasn't quite good enough. I learned I say the word "stupid" quite a lot in reference to myself and that swapping it out with silly is acceptable because I also changed my tone and stopped being so hard on myself.
My sister taught me the trick of walking out of the room mid-tantrum and forcing a smile until it became natural. Once I was calm, I could calm my banshee.
I think before I speak much more now although I will always have work to do in that arena as I have a faulty filter. The Off button seems to be out of order a lot.
I preened at the transformation and patted myself on the back when I saw the positive effect it had on Little Man. Ah the sense of Pride.
Oh the fall.
Enter the Mimic Stage. Damn thing really needed to come with a parental warning: Warning to all parents. You are about to have all your faults and bad habits thrown full force in your face by your precious perfect little angel.
Little Man is slowly learning that whining and crying will not make Mommy or Daddy have a change of heart when he's told no. So he deals with it like an adult, more specifically like his adult mommy.
Cue huge sigh followed by "oh fine".
That's when he not over tired and has a somewhat calm demeanor. When he is lacking sleep and in anything but a calm demeanor he bypasses the sigh all together and shouts "FINE" quite succinctly.
I think I could have gone several more years before I had to have my own reaction played out to me when I don't get my way. It is not a pretty site and it kind of punctures the ego a bit.
It is not so wonderful that they are exceptional mimics.
I learned to control my language. Most of the time. I learned that swapping out the F bomb with OH CRAP wasn't quite good enough. I learned I say the word "stupid" quite a lot in reference to myself and that swapping it out with silly is acceptable because I also changed my tone and stopped being so hard on myself.
My sister taught me the trick of walking out of the room mid-tantrum and forcing a smile until it became natural. Once I was calm, I could calm my banshee.
I think before I speak much more now although I will always have work to do in that arena as I have a faulty filter. The Off button seems to be out of order a lot.
I preened at the transformation and patted myself on the back when I saw the positive effect it had on Little Man. Ah the sense of Pride.
Oh the fall.
Enter the Mimic Stage. Damn thing really needed to come with a parental warning: Warning to all parents. You are about to have all your faults and bad habits thrown full force in your face by your precious perfect little angel.
Little Man is slowly learning that whining and crying will not make Mommy or Daddy have a change of heart when he's told no. So he deals with it like an adult, more specifically like his adult mommy.
Cue huge sigh followed by "oh fine".
That's when he not over tired and has a somewhat calm demeanor. When he is lacking sleep and in anything but a calm demeanor he bypasses the sigh all together and shouts "FINE" quite succinctly.
I think I could have gone several more years before I had to have my own reaction played out to me when I don't get my way. It is not a pretty site and it kind of punctures the ego a bit.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Dialects
When you hail from Boston and your husband hails from South Jersey you cannot help but have this gnawing fear in the back of your head. What the hell kind of accent will my child end up with? A cross between James Gandolfino and Donnie Wahlberg? Chris Christie and Tip O'Neill? Sweet mother he'll be mistaken for Chelsea Handler and Steven Wright's love child on voice alone.
Would you like a lemon with your wooder/wahtah becomes woodah. Right? Apparently not. It is still water.
Blueberry on the other hand? Um... try bluebrerry (try saying that 3 times fast). Frog? Flog.
My husband twists his r's. I drop them all together (or add them where they don't belong) but our son? Oh no he has to one up us and replace them with an L.
I understood when he messed up the title to one of his book. "A Crack in the Track" became "A Track in the Crack" (I'll never look at plumbers the same). I even understood when he informed me that turtles, fish, dolphins, etc. lived in the lotion (half expected him to empty all my lotion bottles in search of said turtles, fish, dolphins, etc.).
But bluebrerry? I don't have a clue where that came from. I'm waiting for him to spit out bruebrelly one of these days. I could barely type that. I hope he doesn't expect me to pronounce it.
Would you like a lemon with your wooder/wahtah becomes woodah. Right? Apparently not. It is still water.
Blueberry on the other hand? Um... try bluebrerry (try saying that 3 times fast). Frog? Flog.
My husband twists his r's. I drop them all together (or add them where they don't belong) but our son? Oh no he has to one up us and replace them with an L.
I understood when he messed up the title to one of his book. "A Crack in the Track" became "A Track in the Crack" (I'll never look at plumbers the same). I even understood when he informed me that turtles, fish, dolphins, etc. lived in the lotion (half expected him to empty all my lotion bottles in search of said turtles, fish, dolphins, etc.).
But bluebrerry? I don't have a clue where that came from. I'm waiting for him to spit out bruebrelly one of these days. I could barely type that. I hope he doesn't expect me to pronounce it.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Reaction?
Several hours later and I'm still not sure how to react to this.
John came home from work tonight. He was sitting in the living room with Little Man when Little Man turned to him and asked "Daddy, you want beer?"
What?
"Beer. You want beer daddy?"
What man isn't going to answer in the affirmative?
How many 2 year olds would react by walking to the fridge, grabbing a beer and bringing it to their father?
Response alludes me still.
John came home from work tonight. He was sitting in the living room with Little Man when Little Man turned to him and asked "Daddy, you want beer?"
What?
"Beer. You want beer daddy?"
What man isn't going to answer in the affirmative?
How many 2 year olds would react by walking to the fridge, grabbing a beer and bringing it to their father?
Response alludes me still.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Hold On
Little Man did not clear his plate from the dinner table tonight. He went straight to the living room to play so I called him back.
"Hold on Mommy" was the response I got not once, not twice but 3 times.
How do you respond to your child who is mimicking exactly what you say to him?
How do you explain the "Do as I say not as I do" concept to a toddler?
How do you not laugh in these situations?
After the 3rd time I channeled my mom. "No. NOW. Please."
He listened. Finally.
He did not listen 20 minutes later when we told him to clean up his toys before going to bed. So he went to bed with no bedtime story.
I'm finally learning that his choices have consequences.
"Hold on Mommy" was the response I got not once, not twice but 3 times.
How do you respond to your child who is mimicking exactly what you say to him?
How do you explain the "Do as I say not as I do" concept to a toddler?
How do you not laugh in these situations?
After the 3rd time I channeled my mom. "No. NOW. Please."
He listened. Finally.
He did not listen 20 minutes later when we told him to clean up his toys before going to bed. So he went to bed with no bedtime story.
I'm finally learning that his choices have consequences.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Mini Me
"Stay there Mommy."
"No lie down."
"LIE DOWN."
Excuse me?
"peas?"
"No stay there. Don't move Mommy."
He walks away and returns a few seconds later.
"OK Mommy. Get up. Come with me mommy."
He takes me by the hand and leads me to the living room.
"Good job Mommy. You did good. You get TWO stickers mommy. Thomas and Percy. Good job"
And proceeds to place two imaginary stickers on my shirt.
Fransisco took great joy in pointing out that he sounded exactly like me.
**********************************************************************************
Bedtime and I tell Little Man it is time to head upstairs. I head to the stairs and he runs to get in front of me.
"No Mommy. You stay here. Right here. Don't move."
Then he runs behind me to John with his hand up.
"And you stay right here. Don't move."
He spends several minutes running between the two of us telling each not to move and that we must stay right there.
"You no go upstairs. You stay right here."
Well I have to go put the trash and recycling out.
"OK Daddy. You can come upstairs. Mommy you no come. You stay right there. Don't move. Understand?"
My body is starting to imitate jello. Watch it wiggle. See it jiggle....
Little Man hands John his cup and plate to carry upstairs for him. He turns one last time and wiggles his finger at me.
"You stay right there. Don't move Mommy. You no come upstairs."
Little Man scrambles up after Daddy and I hear him tell his father that mommy isn't coming. She's staying downstairs. John states he would like Mommy to come upstairs to which Little Man replies: "No. She has to stay downstairs."
I walk to the bottom of the stairs and ask Little Man if I can come upstairs.
"NO Mommy. YOU stay downstairs."
OK buddy. Guess you don't want mommy to stay with you when you go to bed. Guess you are going to put yourself to bed.
He reaches his hands through the gate.
"Come touch my hands Mommy."
I climb the stairs and we give each other a high five.
He proceeds to tilt his head to one side and ask: "You come in? You come upstairs with me?"
Managed to eek out another one for the win column.
"No lie down."
"LIE DOWN."
Excuse me?
"peas?"
"No stay there. Don't move Mommy."
He walks away and returns a few seconds later.
"OK Mommy. Get up. Come with me mommy."
He takes me by the hand and leads me to the living room.
"Good job Mommy. You did good. You get TWO stickers mommy. Thomas and Percy. Good job"
And proceeds to place two imaginary stickers on my shirt.
Fransisco took great joy in pointing out that he sounded exactly like me.
**********************************************************************************
Bedtime and I tell Little Man it is time to head upstairs. I head to the stairs and he runs to get in front of me.
"No Mommy. You stay here. Right here. Don't move."
Then he runs behind me to John with his hand up.
"And you stay right here. Don't move."
He spends several minutes running between the two of us telling each not to move and that we must stay right there.
"You no go upstairs. You stay right here."
Well I have to go put the trash and recycling out.
"OK Daddy. You can come upstairs. Mommy you no come. You stay right there. Don't move. Understand?"
My body is starting to imitate jello. Watch it wiggle. See it jiggle....
Little Man hands John his cup and plate to carry upstairs for him. He turns one last time and wiggles his finger at me.
"You stay right there. Don't move Mommy. You no come upstairs."
Little Man scrambles up after Daddy and I hear him tell his father that mommy isn't coming. She's staying downstairs. John states he would like Mommy to come upstairs to which Little Man replies: "No. She has to stay downstairs."
I walk to the bottom of the stairs and ask Little Man if I can come upstairs.
"NO Mommy. YOU stay downstairs."
OK buddy. Guess you don't want mommy to stay with you when you go to bed. Guess you are going to put yourself to bed.
He reaches his hands through the gate.
"Come touch my hands Mommy."
I climb the stairs and we give each other a high five.
He proceeds to tilt his head to one side and ask: "You come in? You come upstairs with me?"
Managed to eek out another one for the win column.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Seriously Dude?
I'm not liking the current phase - the repeat everything mommy says in exactly the same tone.
Unless of course John just said something insanely silly and my response is "Seriously, dude?"
Sometimes its good to have an echo.
***********************************************************************************
He's back to sleeping in our bed. I can't tell you when I screwed up. We were doing really well there when we came back from vacation. He would go to bed and stay there until morning. Somewhere along the line that stopped and I messed up royally. He woke up one night and came into our room. Instead of walking him back into his room, I pulled him into bed.
I don't remember doing it but he was lying next to me the next morning. My excuse is the rational part of my brain nudged my sleeping brain with a reminder how uncomfortable his floor is to sleep on. Not very rationale but we are talking about me.
Redhead. Goddess. My Universe. You are all nothing but peons here to amuse me.
Yeah, Karma's having a blast with me.
It is nice to wake up to a little face all scrunched up in a huge grin waiting for you to open your eyes so he can give you a kiss and hug.
Its even nicer when he grabs his dad's face with one hand so he can point his finger in his dad's face and state very seriously "Mommy's sleeping. No waking her up."
Now to get him to follow his own threats.
Unless of course John just said something insanely silly and my response is "Seriously, dude?"
Sometimes its good to have an echo.
***********************************************************************************
He's back to sleeping in our bed. I can't tell you when I screwed up. We were doing really well there when we came back from vacation. He would go to bed and stay there until morning. Somewhere along the line that stopped and I messed up royally. He woke up one night and came into our room. Instead of walking him back into his room, I pulled him into bed.
I don't remember doing it but he was lying next to me the next morning. My excuse is the rational part of my brain nudged my sleeping brain with a reminder how uncomfortable his floor is to sleep on. Not very rationale but we are talking about me.
Redhead. Goddess. My Universe. You are all nothing but peons here to amuse me.
Yeah, Karma's having a blast with me.
It is nice to wake up to a little face all scrunched up in a huge grin waiting for you to open your eyes so he can give you a kiss and hug.
Its even nicer when he grabs his dad's face with one hand so he can point his finger in his dad's face and state very seriously "Mommy's sleeping. No waking her up."
Now to get him to follow his own threats.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Pushing Buttons
Little Man has discovered the joys of sitting in the driver's seat of the car. He gets to push buttons, flip switches and move the steering wheel back and forth. He also has to deal with the occasional "We don't touch that!" as he moves toward the shift or parking break.
Today as I adjusted his car seat, he climbed into the front seat and pretended to drive the car. Apparently he's a tad bored with the game already and needed to add a little excitement.
"Mommy I need the car keys. Mommy I drive car. I need car keys."
If this is what he asks for before he's 3. What will he be asking for at 16?
Today as I adjusted his car seat, he climbed into the front seat and pretended to drive the car. Apparently he's a tad bored with the game already and needed to add a little excitement.
"Mommy I need the car keys. Mommy I drive car. I need car keys."
If this is what he asks for before he's 3. What will he be asking for at 16?
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Good. The Bad. The Downright Scarring.
It is Sunday which means FOOTBALL! The Pats have the Monday night game this week so I have to settle for the Redskins game today. Since they are not in the same league as the Pats (yes that was intentional) I can root for them right up until the day they meet the Pats in the Super Bowl at which point the gloves come off and my darling husband and I fight over who has to move into the guest bedroom. That day is not here yet so we continue to yell and scream at the TV, willing the Skins to take Vick out (which they just did) and give McNabb a glorious return to the City of Brotherly Love (the gesture I have in mind is neither brotherly nor loving).
The first touchdown had Little Man mimicking his daddy perfectly: "Come on baby! Go baby, go! YEAH TOUCHDOWN!"
Little Man does a lovely impersonation of the Heisman Trophy. Unfortunately he then yells "SPIDERMAN" and bolts so when the 2nd touchdown occured, John decided to teach him how to spike the ball. Actually John told him to spike it. I was the brilliant parent that showed him how. We'll see what Karma has in store for me on that one.
There is nothing better than Sunday football with a 2/5 year-old aper. Right now I choose to live in the moment enjoying his antics hoping they will eventually erase yesterday from my brain cells.
Before I get to that - Redskins kicking off and the ball falls off the.... the.... the.... I've been watching this game for how many years? One of my many nicknames is? I'm freaking brilliant.
OK so back to yesterday. Thankfully I did not actually witness this event though even just hearing about is enough to scar me for life.
Have you seen the carpet cleaner add? The one where the child calls for mommy to witness Spot's new trick? The new trick which consists of Spot dragging his but across the carpet?
Swap the carpet for not just my bed but my side of the bed.
Little Man called and called to daddy yesterday but we thought he was procrastinating taking his nap. After while John decided to check. While not exactly great timing on his part, it could have been much worse.
"Daddy I poopy".
Half the pullup was pulled off. Most was still in the pullup. What wasn't was on my side of the bed. At least he didn't do this when I had the white sheets on the bed.
And at least he didn't decide to finger paint.
At least I keep telling myself at least. I have to remind myself that while gross, it could be so much grosser; however, that is one theory I have no desire to test so we will leave it right there.
The first touchdown had Little Man mimicking his daddy perfectly: "Come on baby! Go baby, go! YEAH TOUCHDOWN!"
Little Man does a lovely impersonation of the Heisman Trophy. Unfortunately he then yells "SPIDERMAN" and bolts so when the 2nd touchdown occured, John decided to teach him how to spike the ball. Actually John told him to spike it. I was the brilliant parent that showed him how. We'll see what Karma has in store for me on that one.
There is nothing better than Sunday football with a 2/5 year-old aper. Right now I choose to live in the moment enjoying his antics hoping they will eventually erase yesterday from my brain cells.
Before I get to that - Redskins kicking off and the ball falls off the.... the.... the.... I've been watching this game for how many years? One of my many nicknames is? I'm freaking brilliant.
OK so back to yesterday. Thankfully I did not actually witness this event though even just hearing about is enough to scar me for life.
Have you seen the carpet cleaner add? The one where the child calls for mommy to witness Spot's new trick? The new trick which consists of Spot dragging his but across the carpet?
Swap the carpet for not just my bed but my side of the bed.
Little Man called and called to daddy yesterday but we thought he was procrastinating taking his nap. After while John decided to check. While not exactly great timing on his part, it could have been much worse.
"Daddy I poopy".
Half the pullup was pulled off. Most was still in the pullup. What wasn't was on my side of the bed. At least he didn't do this when I had the white sheets on the bed.
And at least he didn't decide to finger paint.
At least I keep telling myself at least. I have to remind myself that while gross, it could be so much grosser; however, that is one theory I have no desire to test so we will leave it right there.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Conversations
Mommy we go downstairs?
In a sec baby. Mama has to put her makeup on.
I put makeup on too Mommy.
Um. Um. Oh! You have lip balm. It's called lip balm. It's in your bathroom baby. Go get it.
OK Mommy.
****************************************************************************
Can you make Mommy coffee while Mommy does her makeup?
Mmmm. No. No coffee. I do your makeup?
Ummm.... why don't you go make mommy some coffee.
OK Mommy.
***************************************************************************
Bye Mommy.
Hey, where's my hug and kiss?
No hug and kiss mommy. You gotta do your makeup and I gotta get outta here.
***************************************************************************
Pick a book to read buddy.
Dis one mommy. NO Mommy. I read to you. Sit. Sit down on floor. I read to you.
He scrambles up into the glider and proceeds to read the book (he has it memorized) and then add to the story line using the pictures. Any question I ask during story time (how many ladybugs do you see; what color is this), he proceeded to ask me.
You'll all be happy to hear I earned a "Good Yob Mommy! Gimme a high five!"
In a sec baby. Mama has to put her makeup on.
I put makeup on too Mommy.
Um. Um. Oh! You have lip balm. It's called lip balm. It's in your bathroom baby. Go get it.
OK Mommy.
****************************************************************************
Can you make Mommy coffee while Mommy does her makeup?
Mmmm. No. No coffee. I do your makeup?
Ummm.... why don't you go make mommy some coffee.
OK Mommy.
***************************************************************************
Bye Mommy.
Hey, where's my hug and kiss?
No hug and kiss mommy. You gotta do your makeup and I gotta get outta here.
***************************************************************************
Pick a book to read buddy.
Dis one mommy. NO Mommy. I read to you. Sit. Sit down on floor. I read to you.
He scrambles up into the glider and proceeds to read the book (he has it memorized) and then add to the story line using the pictures. Any question I ask during story time (how many ladybugs do you see; what color is this), he proceeded to ask me.
You'll all be happy to hear I earned a "Good Yob Mommy! Gimme a high five!"
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Mom's Medicine
Little Man was sick last week so of course it means I was sick this week. He had a fever and a mild cough that seemed to kick in only at night. I had a fever and a cough that was 24 hours a day. It has caused severe abdominal pain which wouldn't bother me if it meant I was on my way to at least a 6-pack but no, I'm not that lucky.
I've also had trouble keeping down solids and some other nasty symptoms which wouldn't bother me if after 5+ days I was down at least one size but no, I'm not that lucky.
Why I ask? Why does the Universe hate me so? Why does Karma feel the need to visit me this way? Is one dress size too much to ask after a week of living on water, orange cream soda, and milk? Apparently slowly noshing on cheerios a few days into it to test the limits of my stomach was considered cheating. Well if that isn't the cruelest of rules.
There was a silver lining though. I woke up several mornings to find Little Man pressing his forehead against mine. I'd open my eyes to a big toothy grin and immediately be greeted with a kiss and a hug. Best medicine a mom can get.
I've also had trouble keeping down solids and some other nasty symptoms which wouldn't bother me if after 5+ days I was down at least one size but no, I'm not that lucky.
Why I ask? Why does the Universe hate me so? Why does Karma feel the need to visit me this way? Is one dress size too much to ask after a week of living on water, orange cream soda, and milk? Apparently slowly noshing on cheerios a few days into it to test the limits of my stomach was considered cheating. Well if that isn't the cruelest of rules.
There was a silver lining though. I woke up several mornings to find Little Man pressing his forehead against mine. I'd open my eyes to a big toothy grin and immediately be greeted with a kiss and a hug. Best medicine a mom can get.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
She Who Giveth...
Little Man refused to clean up his cars before bedtime tonight. I told him if he didn't I would take them away.
They were taken away.
Whew he has a set of lungs and am I the meanest mommy in the world.
He has to sit on the potty before bedtime. John tried very hard to get him off the potty but he insisted he wasn't done.
The last two nights he has actually pooped on the potty. This was a major milestone for us so he was rewarded with a ton of praise and a new car both nights.
Mommy took away 4 cars tonight. Mind you he has a huge collection.
Do you realize that lil imp was sitting on the potty trying to poop because he thought he would get another car? I have never laughed so hard in my life.
John finally gets him off the potty and he comes back into his room where I am waiting to put him in his pjs. He has somewhat gotten over the horrible treatment he suffered at my hands and decides he will talk to me.
"You no take my cars away mommy!"
Excuse me?
"You no take my cars away!"
I told you if you didn't clean up your cars I would take them away. Did you clean them up?
No answer and the hang dog look starts.
Yes I took you cars away and I will do it the next time you don't listen to me. Now lie down so I can put your diaper on.
Lil imp runs away.
Do you want me to take ALL your cars away?
He came back.
I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow morning.
They were taken away.
Whew he has a set of lungs and am I the meanest mommy in the world.
He has to sit on the potty before bedtime. John tried very hard to get him off the potty but he insisted he wasn't done.
The last two nights he has actually pooped on the potty. This was a major milestone for us so he was rewarded with a ton of praise and a new car both nights.
Mommy took away 4 cars tonight. Mind you he has a huge collection.
Do you realize that lil imp was sitting on the potty trying to poop because he thought he would get another car? I have never laughed so hard in my life.
John finally gets him off the potty and he comes back into his room where I am waiting to put him in his pjs. He has somewhat gotten over the horrible treatment he suffered at my hands and decides he will talk to me.
"You no take my cars away mommy!"
Excuse me?
"You no take my cars away!"
I told you if you didn't clean up your cars I would take them away. Did you clean them up?
No answer and the hang dog look starts.
Yes I took you cars away and I will do it the next time you don't listen to me. Now lie down so I can put your diaper on.
Lil imp runs away.
Do you want me to take ALL your cars away?
He came back.
I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow morning.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Tread Lightly
My darling husband is treading dangerous ground. Very dangerous ground.
Don't you have something you want to tell mommy?
"Mommy, I a pubkin."
You're a what?
"A pubkin. I a pubkin mommy."
My darling husband is almost peeing his pants he's laughing so hard and he takes extreme pleasure in translating for me.
"He's a republican".
Fast forward to tonight. I spend what felt like an eternity convincing my son who is a MAMA'S BOY mind you that not only is he a democrat but he's also a RED SOX fan. Yes, John got him started with the "GO YANKEES" crap again. The kid was growling GO YANKEES at me. I finally managed to turn things around and implement some sanity in my house.
"NO daddy. GO RED SOX".
The one time I appreciated the set of lungs he inherited from me.
Oh and speaking of crap. I also got him to turn on his father and become a democrat again.
Except it sounded like democrap...
Don't you have something you want to tell mommy?
"Mommy, I a pubkin."
You're a what?
"A pubkin. I a pubkin mommy."
My darling husband is almost peeing his pants he's laughing so hard and he takes extreme pleasure in translating for me.
"He's a republican".
Fast forward to tonight. I spend what felt like an eternity convincing my son who is a MAMA'S BOY mind you that not only is he a democrat but he's also a RED SOX fan. Yes, John got him started with the "GO YANKEES" crap again. The kid was growling GO YANKEES at me. I finally managed to turn things around and implement some sanity in my house.
"NO daddy. GO RED SOX".
The one time I appreciated the set of lungs he inherited from me.
Oh and speaking of crap. I also got him to turn on his father and become a democrat again.
Except it sounded like democrap...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The Swishy Swashy Hot Shot
Last time Ahma came to visit she instructed Little Man in The Way.
The Way is the ultimate toture device to be used on his mother.
I am ticklish. Extremely ticklish. All my mom would have to do is wiggle her fingers at me and I would collapse on the floor.
Little Man is now adept in The Way.
My feet are begging for some Chinese Torture as a reprieve.
John doesn't help the situation at all. He strongly encourages it.
And he wonders why I don't do much to stop Little Man from running at him at full speed. Oh yeah, Little Man is the perfect height for some mean payback.
Since he hadn't seen Ahma in a few months it was only fitting she teach him something new. This time it was inadvertent.
He was jumping on her bed, throwing pillows and himself around.
She made the mistake of asking him if he thought he was a hot shot.
So now Little Man loves to jump on beds, couches, whatever surface happens to be handy. He'll hold both his hands up like he batting, yell "HAW SHAWT!" and launch himself.
Over and over and over again.
And if that isn't exciting enough he'll run as far as the house will let him. Turn around. Run back and launch himself at the couch yelling "SWISHY SWASHY! SWISHY SWASHY! SWISHY SWASHY!"
Ah so peaceful in our house...
The Way is the ultimate toture device to be used on his mother.
I am ticklish. Extremely ticklish. All my mom would have to do is wiggle her fingers at me and I would collapse on the floor.
Little Man is now adept in The Way.
My feet are begging for some Chinese Torture as a reprieve.
John doesn't help the situation at all. He strongly encourages it.
And he wonders why I don't do much to stop Little Man from running at him at full speed. Oh yeah, Little Man is the perfect height for some mean payback.
Since he hadn't seen Ahma in a few months it was only fitting she teach him something new. This time it was inadvertent.
He was jumping on her bed, throwing pillows and himself around.
She made the mistake of asking him if he thought he was a hot shot.
So now Little Man loves to jump on beds, couches, whatever surface happens to be handy. He'll hold both his hands up like he batting, yell "HAW SHAWT!" and launch himself.
Over and over and over again.
And if that isn't exciting enough he'll run as far as the house will let him. Turn around. Run back and launch himself at the couch yelling "SWISHY SWASHY! SWISHY SWASHY! SWISHY SWASHY!"
Ah so peaceful in our house...
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Vacation
Vacation - a respite, time away from work devoted to leisure and/or pleasure.
I had almost forgotten what a true vacation was but then I boarded a plane and flew back to New England; specifically, New Hampshire and spent 9 glorious days in the White Mountains. Little Man reveled in new discoveries - racing a toy motorcycle around the fire pit, kicking a ball off the hill, watching the butterflies flit among the wildflowers, and long walks.
There is a Glider Port nearby. Its a club but they take folks up on the weekends. Little Man started to sound like Tattoo but instead of "Da Plane! Da Plane!" we got "The air pa-lane! The air pa-lane!" every time the tow plane flew overhead.
18 years ago my acrophobic mom went up in a glider. My first Saturday in the White Mountains and my claustrophobic, control freak ass went up - in the exact same one mom did. The views are awesome at 5K feet and peaceful. Very peaceful. Unfortunately there weren't any hikers on the ridge of Lafayette for us to buzz.
Every time we drove by the Glider Port after my ride he would point to the glider and exclaim: "Mommy you airpah-lane". Thankfully he didn't expect me to try to bring it back to Virginia with us.
We also took Little Man back to the fainting goat farm, Wonder Falls. This time he actually petted the goats. Marla is an absolute genius when it comes to kids. She held up one of the baby goats and asked Little Man to show her his ears then his nose. In no time he was petting the goat. He even fed them which resulted in them following him around and him yelling "NO MO FOOD!" at them.
Bordeaux the llama was a different story. It took a good 10-15 minutes before he would feed her a dandelion which she did not like but he wouldn't touch her. Once he got his courage up; however, Bordeaux had moved on and decided she wanted nothing to do with him and his lousy dandelions.
Then we headed over to Franconia Notch. I love the notch but it is painful to drive through there. The Old Man is no longer and it is still weird not to see him. I can't help but look. Who'da thunk I'd miss a hunk o'rocks that much. The Flume is still beautiful though and Little Man found a new fascination - waterfalls. Getting to this one though proved to be a tad boring for him so I resorted to his other fascination - planes. And so he went...
John and I also took a night to ourselves. We had originally discussed dinner and a movie but that is just too cliche for me. So I came up with a sunset horseback ride. Mind you, I haven't been on a horse in almost 20 years. John hasn't been on one in over 20 years.
John's horse was content to follow mine. Not a good thing would be an understatement. The first time I got comfortable in the saddle, my horse (Carlos) decided it was time for a nice run. Thankfully Buddy was not of the same mindset. Once we moved out of the field and into the woods, Carlos found another way to mess with me - walk on the absolute farthest edge of the trail and put me in the trees. Unfortunately Buddy was good with that. While I spent most of the ride trying to explain to Carlos that no one can out stubborn me, John spent his ride getting beaten by pine branches and cursing up a storm. Carlos and I finally came to an agreement and John got his payback. Did I mention I hadn't been on a horse in almost 20 years? I did great considering right up until it was time to dismount. I proceeded to do it my normal way 20 years ago. Swing my right leg over and slide down. Except I was in a western saddle. For the first time ever. The stirrup was not exactly where I expected it to be and my damn heel caught it sending me sprawling face first into the dirt. In front of several people. Still not sure my ego has recovered.
But enough about me. It's time for some quotes from Little Man.
John is trying to wake me up and I'm ignoring him so he starts whispering to Little Man. Turns out he's trying to get Little Man to say Go Yankees. THAT woke me up and it took me seconds to turn it into BOO Yankees. Not to be out done, John bided his time and the SOB, I mean love of my life even got it on freaking video - Little Man saying Go Yankees. ARGH! I am so going to make him pay for that!
Then there was dinner the other night. Mom stepped outside to call my sister.
LM: Where's Ahma?
Me: Calling your Aunt.
LM: Calling my aunt?
John: Yes, she's calling your Ant.
LM: No daddy. Not ant. AUNT.
Love my boy.
Oh and you know that saying Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt? Apparently I needed reminding. I was wrestling with Little Man and he managed to accidentally scratch my eye. He missed the iris. I think. At least my vision isn't affected but damn does the socket hurt sometimes. I went into the bathroom to rinse my eye. Little Man followed me. He asked what was wrong and I told him my eye hurt.
"It hurt mommy? Your eye? It broken mommy? You broke your eye?"
Yeah kiddo. I broke my eye.
But the greatest came from my mother.
Ahma to Little Man: Why are you so loud?
Me: Why do fish live in the water?
I had almost forgotten what a true vacation was but then I boarded a plane and flew back to New England; specifically, New Hampshire and spent 9 glorious days in the White Mountains. Little Man reveled in new discoveries - racing a toy motorcycle around the fire pit, kicking a ball off the hill, watching the butterflies flit among the wildflowers, and long walks.
There is a Glider Port nearby. Its a club but they take folks up on the weekends. Little Man started to sound like Tattoo but instead of "Da Plane! Da Plane!" we got "The air pa-lane! The air pa-lane!" every time the tow plane flew overhead.
18 years ago my acrophobic mom went up in a glider. My first Saturday in the White Mountains and my claustrophobic, control freak ass went up - in the exact same one mom did. The views are awesome at 5K feet and peaceful. Very peaceful. Unfortunately there weren't any hikers on the ridge of Lafayette for us to buzz.
Every time we drove by the Glider Port after my ride he would point to the glider and exclaim: "Mommy you airpah-lane". Thankfully he didn't expect me to try to bring it back to Virginia with us.
We also took Little Man back to the fainting goat farm, Wonder Falls. This time he actually petted the goats. Marla is an absolute genius when it comes to kids. She held up one of the baby goats and asked Little Man to show her his ears then his nose. In no time he was petting the goat. He even fed them which resulted in them following him around and him yelling "NO MO FOOD!" at them.
Bordeaux the llama was a different story. It took a good 10-15 minutes before he would feed her a dandelion which she did not like but he wouldn't touch her. Once he got his courage up; however, Bordeaux had moved on and decided she wanted nothing to do with him and his lousy dandelions.
Then we headed over to Franconia Notch. I love the notch but it is painful to drive through there. The Old Man is no longer and it is still weird not to see him. I can't help but look. Who'da thunk I'd miss a hunk o'rocks that much. The Flume is still beautiful though and Little Man found a new fascination - waterfalls. Getting to this one though proved to be a tad boring for him so I resorted to his other fascination - planes. And so he went...
John and I also took a night to ourselves. We had originally discussed dinner and a movie but that is just too cliche for me. So I came up with a sunset horseback ride. Mind you, I haven't been on a horse in almost 20 years. John hasn't been on one in over 20 years.
John's horse was content to follow mine. Not a good thing would be an understatement. The first time I got comfortable in the saddle, my horse (Carlos) decided it was time for a nice run. Thankfully Buddy was not of the same mindset. Once we moved out of the field and into the woods, Carlos found another way to mess with me - walk on the absolute farthest edge of the trail and put me in the trees. Unfortunately Buddy was good with that. While I spent most of the ride trying to explain to Carlos that no one can out stubborn me, John spent his ride getting beaten by pine branches and cursing up a storm. Carlos and I finally came to an agreement and John got his payback. Did I mention I hadn't been on a horse in almost 20 years? I did great considering right up until it was time to dismount. I proceeded to do it my normal way 20 years ago. Swing my right leg over and slide down. Except I was in a western saddle. For the first time ever. The stirrup was not exactly where I expected it to be and my damn heel caught it sending me sprawling face first into the dirt. In front of several people. Still not sure my ego has recovered.
But enough about me. It's time for some quotes from Little Man.
John is trying to wake me up and I'm ignoring him so he starts whispering to Little Man. Turns out he's trying to get Little Man to say Go Yankees. THAT woke me up and it took me seconds to turn it into BOO Yankees. Not to be out done, John bided his time and the SOB, I mean love of my life even got it on freaking video - Little Man saying Go Yankees. ARGH! I am so going to make him pay for that!
Then there was dinner the other night. Mom stepped outside to call my sister.
LM: Where's Ahma?
Me: Calling your Aunt.
LM: Calling my aunt?
John: Yes, she's calling your Ant.
LM: No daddy. Not ant. AUNT.
Love my boy.
Oh and you know that saying Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt? Apparently I needed reminding. I was wrestling with Little Man and he managed to accidentally scratch my eye. He missed the iris. I think. At least my vision isn't affected but damn does the socket hurt sometimes. I went into the bathroom to rinse my eye. Little Man followed me. He asked what was wrong and I told him my eye hurt.
"It hurt mommy? Your eye? It broken mommy? You broke your eye?"
Yeah kiddo. I broke my eye.
But the greatest came from my mother.
Ahma to Little Man: Why are you so loud?
Me: Why do fish live in the water?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Coming of the Sea Horse
Little Man is having trouble differentiating between horses and sea horses. Point to a fish and he'll tell you it is a fish and fish is in the water. Turtles are in the water. I took his lead and showed him a picture of a horse and then a sea horse. I told him sea horses are in the water. He still confuses them.
We've also seen some small steps with the potty training. We've had signs lately that he is starting to hold it, at least during the day. If he complains his stomach hurts, we've waited to long and we run him to the potty.
So what does one have to do with the other?
John put him on the potty the other day after a complaint about his stomach and could say nothing but "Wow, you peed like a race horse".
Guess what became THE phrase in the house.
Jump to today. I plop him on the potty.
"Its coming mommy" he whispered.
Its coming?
"The sea horse. Its coming."
We've also seen some small steps with the potty training. We've had signs lately that he is starting to hold it, at least during the day. If he complains his stomach hurts, we've waited to long and we run him to the potty.
So what does one have to do with the other?
John put him on the potty the other day after a complaint about his stomach and could say nothing but "Wow, you peed like a race horse".
Guess what became THE phrase in the house.
Jump to today. I plop him on the potty.
"Its coming mommy" he whispered.
Its coming?
"The sea horse. Its coming."
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Looking Out
Pleases and Thank Yous are wonderful even when prompting is required.
I sorry without prompting is amazing.
Last night was a mix of wonder, awe, and gut-wrenching laughter.
Little Man was beyond exhausted but refusing to sleep in his bed. Curling up next to me on the floor was preferential. So I compromised. OK, I caved. I offered to let him sleep in our bed since that is where he ends up most nights anyway. I figured why fight the inevitable. He falls asleep there rather quickly and is still easy to move without waking.
So I put him on John's side of the bed. He decided he wanted his own pillow so John's lined the side of the bed. He has rolled out before and its high enough that it can cause equal amounts of pain and fear. I told him if he felt the pillows, to move away. I didn't want him to fall out.
"No bump head mommy". 5 Little Monkeys is the current favorite book. He falls asleep with it snuggled in his arms.
I crawl into my side of the bed, telling him I would stay with him.
"Pi-ylow mommy. Pi-ylow".
Huh?
Pi-ylow. On side. Pi-ylow. So you don't fall out. No bump head mommy".
So I laid in bed with my son until he fell asleep. 2 pillows lining his side. One pillow lining my side. Both safe and sound.
Thanks for looking out kid.
I sorry without prompting is amazing.
Last night was a mix of wonder, awe, and gut-wrenching laughter.
Little Man was beyond exhausted but refusing to sleep in his bed. Curling up next to me on the floor was preferential. So I compromised. OK, I caved. I offered to let him sleep in our bed since that is where he ends up most nights anyway. I figured why fight the inevitable. He falls asleep there rather quickly and is still easy to move without waking.
So I put him on John's side of the bed. He decided he wanted his own pillow so John's lined the side of the bed. He has rolled out before and its high enough that it can cause equal amounts of pain and fear. I told him if he felt the pillows, to move away. I didn't want him to fall out.
"No bump head mommy". 5 Little Monkeys is the current favorite book. He falls asleep with it snuggled in his arms.
I crawl into my side of the bed, telling him I would stay with him.
"Pi-ylow mommy. Pi-ylow".
Huh?
Pi-ylow. On side. Pi-ylow. So you don't fall out. No bump head mommy".
So I laid in bed with my son until he fell asleep. 2 pillows lining his side. One pillow lining my side. Both safe and sound.
Thanks for looking out kid.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Manipulation
Tonight is one of those nights I wonder why I bother.
He wouldn't fall asleep tonight. Sitting next to him demanding he close his eyes did not work. Well that was a short-lived trick.
I gave up. I couldn't sit there all night until he fell asleep. I had things to do - mainly eat ice cream and get online.
So I went downstairs. Ate my ice cream and obviously - got online.
Then I heard a cough over the monitor.
A very distant cough.
John found him curled up in our bed sound asleep.
I am so close, oh so very close to giving up and just putting him to bed in our bed. We can move him when we go to bed right?
Yeah, I know. Bad idea. That's his plan. He starts off slowly, carefully manipulating the situation and in no time - WHAM - he's got complete control of my bed.
I'd be willing if it weren't for the fact the the guest bedroom is about to be occupied by my little brother which would leave the couch or the aerobed.
Hmmm, the couch is a sleeper...
He wouldn't fall asleep tonight. Sitting next to him demanding he close his eyes did not work. Well that was a short-lived trick.
I gave up. I couldn't sit there all night until he fell asleep. I had things to do - mainly eat ice cream and get online.
So I went downstairs. Ate my ice cream and obviously - got online.
Then I heard a cough over the monitor.
A very distant cough.
John found him curled up in our bed sound asleep.
I am so close, oh so very close to giving up and just putting him to bed in our bed. We can move him when we go to bed right?
Yeah, I know. Bad idea. That's his plan. He starts off slowly, carefully manipulating the situation and in no time - WHAM - he's got complete control of my bed.
I'd be willing if it weren't for the fact the the guest bedroom is about to be occupied by my little brother which would leave the couch or the aerobed.
Hmmm, the couch is a sleeper...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
For My Brother
X years ago today my brother awoke in anticipation of his 5th birthday and his first real birthday party. The joy that little head and heart must have contained. The middle of summer, friends and family about to come over, presents, cake, ice cream and games. Is there any better way to spend a summer day?
Please don't ask him that question. He is unable to provide an answer and I believe the wound may still be a tad raw. Shortly before guests were to arrive my mother's water broke. Instead of greeting guests at the door, my brother was packed off to his grandparents house. No party. No cake. No ice cream. No games.
He did get a phone call from dad:
"Happy Birthday. You have a baby sister".
"I don't want a baby sister. I want a tonka truck. Send her BACK".
20 years later I bought him that tonka truck. He looked at me, the truck, then my mom.
"She's still here".
I ruined my brother's 5th birthday. I ruined his first real birthday party. I continued to ruin his birthdays for as long as I could. I insisted on birthday parties even after I no longer cared for them because it drove him crazy. When I could no longer stand them, I continued to ruin things for him by insisting the family go out for dinner. I tortured him right up until he moved out. The last thing he said to me as he walked down the stairs for the last time carrying his TV: "and I'm not coming back for anymore birthdays!"
Not to worry dear brother. Not to worry.
My future SIL picked up the torture from there and started throwing surprise birthday parties for him... at their house.
Why would I continue to torture my older brother this way? Payback.
I wasn't allowed to play with his trucks. I was too small to play ball with unless it was kickball and they needed someone to retrieve the ball from the middle of the Poison Ivy patch.
I dreaded bringing friends over never mind boyfriends. He didn't say hi to my friends. He grunted at them. The one time he did slip and utter the word "hi" to a friend, she was so shocked she practically shrieked "HE SPOKE TO ME!". I told my parents they wouldn't meet any boyfriend until I met one who was taller, stronger, and bigger than him - basically, I was waiting to bring Dolph Lundgren home.
If he had his way I would have been put in a convent until I was 30 at which point I would have been released to marry a man he picked for me.
He took the title Big Brother to the extreme. I think even Orwell would have been a tad concerned.
But even now I look back on these memories foundly because I couldn't have asked for a better Big Brother.
Because I was the PITA little sister who would attach herself to his ankle and make him drag her all over the house and he would do it. With no complaint.
Because we went camping on Columbus Day weekend one year only to have our tent collapse due to high winds. The next day, tired, sore and wind-blown, we were all done. He motioned for me to follow him and I did so without question. He led me to a large rock next to a stream with the most perfect patch of grass. The grass was bathed in sunlight and the rock blocked the wind. We sat there for what felt like eternity without speaking until a fish swam by. "Is that a catfish?", I asked. He nodded. It was the first time I saw a catfish that wasn't in a book. We didn't speak after that. I didn't feel like we had to. I was warm and safe. He was looking out for me.
Because the day I said my final good-bye to Dad, he waited for me and then sat there patiently with his arms around me while I bawled my eyes out.
Because he knew at that point it would be him walking me down the aisle. He did so without question, with patience, and his normal silent strength. Because he kept me calm that day without saying anything at all.
Because he agreed to a Brother-Sister dance in place of the Father-Daughter dance and managed with almost no tears in his eyes. Ok, it may have helped when I had the DJ start with "Rubber Ducky".
Because he has given me countless amazing memories. Been a source of strength; reliance.
Because he has made me laugh and stood by me when I cried.
Because if I asked, he would say yes.
He's grown from a Neanderthal to a Homo Sapien in a short span and I love both versions. He's turned into an amazing father and the payback continues: 4 kids - 3 are girls. If he doesn't understand the concept of Karma yet he will shortly as the oldest approaches her teenage years and the other 2 aren't far behind.
I tease, I kid, I roast but I love him. He is my brother and I couldn't ask for a better one.
I'm glad I ruined your 5th Birthday Marc, for completely selfish reasons. The Tonka truck may not entirely make up for it but I hope you can forgive me.
Happy Birthday.
I love you.
Please don't ask him that question. He is unable to provide an answer and I believe the wound may still be a tad raw. Shortly before guests were to arrive my mother's water broke. Instead of greeting guests at the door, my brother was packed off to his grandparents house. No party. No cake. No ice cream. No games.
He did get a phone call from dad:
"Happy Birthday. You have a baby sister".
"I don't want a baby sister. I want a tonka truck. Send her BACK".
20 years later I bought him that tonka truck. He looked at me, the truck, then my mom.
"She's still here".
I ruined my brother's 5th birthday. I ruined his first real birthday party. I continued to ruin his birthdays for as long as I could. I insisted on birthday parties even after I no longer cared for them because it drove him crazy. When I could no longer stand them, I continued to ruin things for him by insisting the family go out for dinner. I tortured him right up until he moved out. The last thing he said to me as he walked down the stairs for the last time carrying his TV: "and I'm not coming back for anymore birthdays!"
Not to worry dear brother. Not to worry.
My future SIL picked up the torture from there and started throwing surprise birthday parties for him... at their house.
Why would I continue to torture my older brother this way? Payback.
I wasn't allowed to play with his trucks. I was too small to play ball with unless it was kickball and they needed someone to retrieve the ball from the middle of the Poison Ivy patch.
I dreaded bringing friends over never mind boyfriends. He didn't say hi to my friends. He grunted at them. The one time he did slip and utter the word "hi" to a friend, she was so shocked she practically shrieked "HE SPOKE TO ME!". I told my parents they wouldn't meet any boyfriend until I met one who was taller, stronger, and bigger than him - basically, I was waiting to bring Dolph Lundgren home.
If he had his way I would have been put in a convent until I was 30 at which point I would have been released to marry a man he picked for me.
He took the title Big Brother to the extreme. I think even Orwell would have been a tad concerned.
But even now I look back on these memories foundly because I couldn't have asked for a better Big Brother.
Because I was the PITA little sister who would attach herself to his ankle and make him drag her all over the house and he would do it. With no complaint.
Because we went camping on Columbus Day weekend one year only to have our tent collapse due to high winds. The next day, tired, sore and wind-blown, we were all done. He motioned for me to follow him and I did so without question. He led me to a large rock next to a stream with the most perfect patch of grass. The grass was bathed in sunlight and the rock blocked the wind. We sat there for what felt like eternity without speaking until a fish swam by. "Is that a catfish?", I asked. He nodded. It was the first time I saw a catfish that wasn't in a book. We didn't speak after that. I didn't feel like we had to. I was warm and safe. He was looking out for me.
Because the day I said my final good-bye to Dad, he waited for me and then sat there patiently with his arms around me while I bawled my eyes out.
Because he knew at that point it would be him walking me down the aisle. He did so without question, with patience, and his normal silent strength. Because he kept me calm that day without saying anything at all.
Because he agreed to a Brother-Sister dance in place of the Father-Daughter dance and managed with almost no tears in his eyes. Ok, it may have helped when I had the DJ start with "Rubber Ducky".
Because he has given me countless amazing memories. Been a source of strength; reliance.
Because he has made me laugh and stood by me when I cried.
Because if I asked, he would say yes.
He's grown from a Neanderthal to a Homo Sapien in a short span and I love both versions. He's turned into an amazing father and the payback continues: 4 kids - 3 are girls. If he doesn't understand the concept of Karma yet he will shortly as the oldest approaches her teenage years and the other 2 aren't far behind.
I tease, I kid, I roast but I love him. He is my brother and I couldn't ask for a better one.
I'm glad I ruined your 5th Birthday Marc, for completely selfish reasons. The Tonka truck may not entirely make up for it but I hope you can forgive me.
Happy Birthday.
I love you.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The Himalayas
I've marveled at Little Man's growth.
He navigates stairs beautifully but still suffers from Shiny Object Syndrome so the gates are still up.
He drinks from a cup beautifully but still suffers from Shiny Object Syndrome so the sippy cup with a straw is still the primary cup used in this house.
He uses complete sentences.
He says "Bless you" when I sneeze without thinking about it.
I've been so proud of all his progress and am free with the praise.
My baby is now a little boy and as all little boys are prone to do, he managed to stop my heart tonight.
We went for a walk around the Court before bath and bed tonight. We went to cross the street to walk back into the house. I told him to hold Daddy's hand to cross the street and he did with no problem.
Then he dropped Daddy's hand and bolted out into the street just as a car turned the corner. I yelled at him to stop. He didn't freeze.
I shrieked "STOP" more at the car than at Little Man and threw my hand up. The driver stopped. Not sure the kid was ever in danger because John took two steps, grabbed his hand and swung him around onto the sidewalk.
The driver wouldn't move until I waved him on. I'm not sure but I think his heart stopped along with mine.
It took me a good 15 minutes to calm Little Man down. Another 5 to 10 to calm myself.
And now I left wondering where the line is; the line of praising my child so he continues to explore but not so much that his confidence is replaced with cockines. He has lost his fear of the street. He sees the older kids play in the street every night. What he doesn't see is one yelling "CAR" and all of them scrambling for the sidewalk. He just sees them throwing the football and having fun - more fun than he's having on the sidewalk.
His lack of fear directly correlates to my growing fear.
My friend once asked my mom years ago if having a child meant spending the rest of your life feeling like your heart is on the outside. Right now I feel like it is more like being forced to walk the ridge line of the Himalyas and my confidence is a bit rattled, never mind my intense fear of falling and I don't have a parachute.
He navigates stairs beautifully but still suffers from Shiny Object Syndrome so the gates are still up.
He drinks from a cup beautifully but still suffers from Shiny Object Syndrome so the sippy cup with a straw is still the primary cup used in this house.
He uses complete sentences.
He says "Bless you" when I sneeze without thinking about it.
I've been so proud of all his progress and am free with the praise.
My baby is now a little boy and as all little boys are prone to do, he managed to stop my heart tonight.
We went for a walk around the Court before bath and bed tonight. We went to cross the street to walk back into the house. I told him to hold Daddy's hand to cross the street and he did with no problem.
Then he dropped Daddy's hand and bolted out into the street just as a car turned the corner. I yelled at him to stop. He didn't freeze.
I shrieked "STOP" more at the car than at Little Man and threw my hand up. The driver stopped. Not sure the kid was ever in danger because John took two steps, grabbed his hand and swung him around onto the sidewalk.
The driver wouldn't move until I waved him on. I'm not sure but I think his heart stopped along with mine.
It took me a good 15 minutes to calm Little Man down. Another 5 to 10 to calm myself.
And now I left wondering where the line is; the line of praising my child so he continues to explore but not so much that his confidence is replaced with cockines. He has lost his fear of the street. He sees the older kids play in the street every night. What he doesn't see is one yelling "CAR" and all of them scrambling for the sidewalk. He just sees them throwing the football and having fun - more fun than he's having on the sidewalk.
His lack of fear directly correlates to my growing fear.
My friend once asked my mom years ago if having a child meant spending the rest of your life feeling like your heart is on the outside. Right now I feel like it is more like being forced to walk the ridge line of the Himalyas and my confidence is a bit rattled, never mind my intense fear of falling and I don't have a parachute.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Beauty and Motherhood - A Dangerous Mix
Hell froze over so it appears the DC Metro Area has decided to fill the gap. It hasn't hit the high of 100 yet but it is quickly on the way. Of course there is the horrible Heat Index; obviously the invention of a masochist. 100 is all I need to hear. You don't need to add in "but it will feel like...". Once the mercury climbs that high, it all feels the same - like the skin is melting off my bones and my bones are turning into dust.
I hate the heat.
I don't mind sweating if I'm actually doing something like playing football for example. I do mind sweating when I'm standing still, in the shade, doing nothing.
Ok, enough of my gripe fest. It really has nothing to do with this post other than to mention that it is hot as blazes outside today which means shorts and that in turn means the razor needed to come out this morning. I hop in the shower and damn it, the razor is not where it is supposed to be. Screw it, I've got Veet.
So now my legs are covered in smelly depilatory cream when I realize it's been an hour since Little Man sat on the Potty. I move the potty to our bathroom, pull down the pull up and tell him to sit. As his little tush makes contact with the seat I realize my mistake.
Always, always, ALWAYS check the pull up first.
I now have poop on the seat. No biggie. Easy clean up. Also get Little Man cleaned up. All while trying to keep the Veet intact on my legs, not on everything else in the bathroom. I managed that contortion without any major pops, snaps, or pulled muscles.
Then I have Little Man step out of the pull up. Carefully or so I thought.
Not only did a turd fall out of the stupid pull up but he then managed to step in it.
Did I mention my bath mat is white?
I'm now left trying to clean up a dirty seat, a dirty bum, a dirty foot, a dirty bath mat and calm a crying child who thinks he did something wrong.
With Veet all over my legs.
I hate the heat.
I don't mind sweating if I'm actually doing something like playing football for example. I do mind sweating when I'm standing still, in the shade, doing nothing.
Ok, enough of my gripe fest. It really has nothing to do with this post other than to mention that it is hot as blazes outside today which means shorts and that in turn means the razor needed to come out this morning. I hop in the shower and damn it, the razor is not where it is supposed to be. Screw it, I've got Veet.
So now my legs are covered in smelly depilatory cream when I realize it's been an hour since Little Man sat on the Potty. I move the potty to our bathroom, pull down the pull up and tell him to sit. As his little tush makes contact with the seat I realize my mistake.
Always, always, ALWAYS check the pull up first.
I now have poop on the seat. No biggie. Easy clean up. Also get Little Man cleaned up. All while trying to keep the Veet intact on my legs, not on everything else in the bathroom. I managed that contortion without any major pops, snaps, or pulled muscles.
Then I have Little Man step out of the pull up. Carefully or so I thought.
Not only did a turd fall out of the stupid pull up but he then managed to step in it.
Did I mention my bath mat is white?
I'm now left trying to clean up a dirty seat, a dirty bum, a dirty foot, a dirty bath mat and calm a crying child who thinks he did something wrong.
With Veet all over my legs.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Mommy's Little Helper
I love how helpful Little Man is. When he finishes a meal, he doesn't just take his dishes to the kitchen. He rinses them and helps me put them in the dishwasher.
He is starting to wash himself in the bath and occasionally wash his own hair.
He helps put the clothes in the wash and dryer. He even turns them both on.
He helps cook.
He not only brings me my shoes when it is time to go outside, he trys to put them on my feet for me too.
He helps cheer up a baby upset at being left with me by his parents. He excels at the art of distraction.
He puts his clothes in the hamper.
He helps me make espresso every morning and even cleans up the spilled grounds.
He helps me water the plants.
And then he turns the hose on me because it is 100+ degrees outside and even mom needs to cool off.
Glad I was not in my work clothes.
He is starting to wash himself in the bath and occasionally wash his own hair.
He helps put the clothes in the wash and dryer. He even turns them both on.
He helps cook.
He not only brings me my shoes when it is time to go outside, he trys to put them on my feet for me too.
He helps cheer up a baby upset at being left with me by his parents. He excels at the art of distraction.
He puts his clothes in the hamper.
He helps me make espresso every morning and even cleans up the spilled grounds.
He helps me water the plants.
And then he turns the hose on me because it is 100+ degrees outside and even mom needs to cool off.
Glad I was not in my work clothes.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
To Stubborness and Beyond
Ah the joys of dealing with a toddler. This kid actually thinks he can out-stubborn a redhead. From Boston.
John made grilled cheese for dinner. A year ago Little Man considerd grilled cheese Ambrosia. Tonight it was if he'd never seen it before and he refused to eat it. He then proceeded to have a meltdown because we wouldn't make him something different. So he was sent to his room.
He came back down after saying he was ready to eat. Then refused. He asked for pasta. When told no, he melted and went back to his room.
Repeat
The next meltdown went nuclear. He layed in his bed, kicked, screamed like a banshee, and basically lashed around a la The Exorcist.
He calmed and returned to join us but refused to eat. He decided he was coming outside with me to water the plants. When I told him he couldn't go outside until after he ate dinner he launched another nuclear explosion. I walked outside. He hit the door so hard, had we lived in California he would have set of the Big One.
He didn't eat his sandwich. Nor did he go outside, play with his cars, get pasta or anything else he asked for. What he did get was a bath and bed.
Thankfully by that time he had exhausted himself so much he didn't have the energy to fight the hair washing.
He did do something good tonight though. He told us twice while in bed that he had to go potty. Bone dry diaper but as soon as he sat down on the potty he let loose.
So we now have hard core proof that this kid DOES know when he has to go potty. He just flat out refused to stop and go during the day.
So while he may not be able to out-stubborn the Redhead, he still knows what to do with the proverbially wool.
John made grilled cheese for dinner. A year ago Little Man considerd grilled cheese Ambrosia. Tonight it was if he'd never seen it before and he refused to eat it. He then proceeded to have a meltdown because we wouldn't make him something different. So he was sent to his room.
He came back down after saying he was ready to eat. Then refused. He asked for pasta. When told no, he melted and went back to his room.
Repeat
The next meltdown went nuclear. He layed in his bed, kicked, screamed like a banshee, and basically lashed around a la The Exorcist.
He calmed and returned to join us but refused to eat. He decided he was coming outside with me to water the plants. When I told him he couldn't go outside until after he ate dinner he launched another nuclear explosion. I walked outside. He hit the door so hard, had we lived in California he would have set of the Big One.
He didn't eat his sandwich. Nor did he go outside, play with his cars, get pasta or anything else he asked for. What he did get was a bath and bed.
Thankfully by that time he had exhausted himself so much he didn't have the energy to fight the hair washing.
He did do something good tonight though. He told us twice while in bed that he had to go potty. Bone dry diaper but as soon as he sat down on the potty he let loose.
So we now have hard core proof that this kid DOES know when he has to go potty. He just flat out refused to stop and go during the day.
So while he may not be able to out-stubborn the Redhead, he still knows what to do with the proverbially wool.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
More Conversations
At the restaraunt:
Mommy go home? Go home mommy?
Yes but...
Little Man interrupting: Daddy pay! We go home. Daddy go pay.
During lunch at home:
Daddy hurt me. Hurt. (I hurt myself).
Daddy kisses hand
Daddy hurt me. Hurt.
Daddy kisses hand again
Daddy hurt me. Hurt.
Daddy kisses then holds out his hand "Kiss it. Kiss the ring". Little Man kisses his ring.
In the Car:
Mommy I no ride cars anymore. I ride motorcycles. Amah ride motorcycles. I ride motorcylces. No cars.
Mommy go home? Go home mommy?
Yes but...
Little Man interrupting: Daddy pay! We go home. Daddy go pay.
During lunch at home:
Daddy hurt me. Hurt. (I hurt myself).
Daddy kisses hand
Daddy hurt me. Hurt.
Daddy kisses hand again
Daddy hurt me. Hurt.
Daddy kisses then holds out his hand "Kiss it. Kiss the ring". Little Man kisses his ring.
In the Car:
Mommy I no ride cars anymore. I ride motorcycles. Amah ride motorcycles. I ride motorcylces. No cars.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
When Procrastination is a good thing
Little Man has learned to switch up procrastination tactics when it comes to going to bed. The latest is to wait until he's been in bed about 10 minutes, pop straight up and claim the need to go potty. In the beginning it was just that - procrastination, a chance to delay bedtime. Slowly, over time, we got some results. I didn't push the issue. I'm wasn't positive he was truly ready to start potty training.
It took several weeks but I've finally realized his procrastination can work in my favor as well.
Last night he procrastinated with some minor results. This morning he woke me at 5 AM. Not to use the potty mind you but to help him find hisdamn precious paci which was sitting on the floor right next to his bed in plain sight. He then tried to take advantage of the situation to jump into bed with us. It was my morning to sleep in. I did not want to waste it but allowing him in bed with us would mean just that. He'd kick, elbow, headbutt and jump all over me. I made him stay in his room. My concession was I would stay with him. He countered that I would stay and he would sleep on the floor with me.
5 minutes late he pops up and declares a need to use the potty. I give up on my dream of sleeping in, shake the fuzzy feeling from my head and take him to the bathroom. The look of utter shock on his face when he heard and saw the steady stream was priceless. I had to cheer him on to keep him from freaking out. Up until this point, he thought using the potty meant a trickle.
I've also taken to showing him his diaper - see honey, you've already peed in your diaper. I don't know what made me do that but maybe it was a smart move.
I decided we would step things up a bit.He's I'm not ready for the Potty Booty Camp several of my girlfriends have completed with great success so I adjusted. Starting today, every 2 hours we would ask him if he needed to go potty. We wouldn't press the issue completely but we'd prod a little harder than we had. John got him on the potty once more in the morning (Yeah, I did manage to sleep in after all. Man I love my husband). Then we ran some errands. It was naptime when we returned. I changed his diaper and attempted to conjole him onto the potty. Zero results.
John stayed with Little Man when he laid down. Yup you guessed it. John plopped him on the potty et viola Success! Diaper was bone dry this time. Maybe, just maybe he's catching on.
Now to figure out the daycare issue. They only have "real" toilets for the kids. No potties (seriously would you want them to? I'm not asking ANYONE to clean up after my son to the extent). Of course my son doesn't like real toilets. He's a little freaked out by them. So if anyone has suggestions on how to work out that issue, I would greatly appreciate it. I've started something good here and I'd love to take full advantage. All the $$ I save in diapers could put a significant rise in the house fund and mama needs a brand spanking new kitchen.
It took several weeks but I've finally realized his procrastination can work in my favor as well.
Last night he procrastinated with some minor results. This morning he woke me at 5 AM. Not to use the potty mind you but to help him find his
5 minutes late he pops up and declares a need to use the potty. I give up on my dream of sleeping in, shake the fuzzy feeling from my head and take him to the bathroom. The look of utter shock on his face when he heard and saw the steady stream was priceless. I had to cheer him on to keep him from freaking out. Up until this point, he thought using the potty meant a trickle.
I've also taken to showing him his diaper - see honey, you've already peed in your diaper. I don't know what made me do that but maybe it was a smart move.
I decided we would step things up a bit.
John stayed with Little Man when he laid down. Yup you guessed it. John plopped him on the potty et viola Success! Diaper was bone dry this time. Maybe, just maybe he's catching on.
Now to figure out the daycare issue. They only have "real" toilets for the kids. No potties (seriously would you want them to? I'm not asking ANYONE to clean up after my son to the extent). Of course my son doesn't like real toilets. He's a little freaked out by them. So if anyone has suggestions on how to work out that issue, I would greatly appreciate it. I've started something good here and I'd love to take full advantage. All the $$ I save in diapers could put a significant rise in the house fund and mama needs a brand spanking new kitchen.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Conversations
This morning:
John to Little Man who was washing his hands: Not too much water. Don't forget your other hand. You need to wash your other hand.
Little Man's response: I know how to wash my hands. I Little Man.
Arriving at the grocery store today:
John: Someone stole my space!
Me: The Horror! Quick! Call the Police. Call the Army. Call the Marines. Call The PRESIDENT!
Little Man: Nooooo Mommy...
John to Little Man who was washing his hands: Not too much water. Don't forget your other hand. You need to wash your other hand.
Little Man's response: I know how to wash my hands. I Little Man.
Arriving at the grocery store today:
John: Someone stole my space!
Me: The Horror! Quick! Call the Police. Call the Army. Call the Marines. Call The PRESIDENT!
Little Man: Nooooo Mommy...
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The World According to a 2 Year Old
Daddy go get the ball.
You threw it there. You get the ball.
No you get the ball.
You get it.
No YOU get it.
I'm 35. You're 2. YOU get the ball.
I was laughing too hard to find out who one that battle.
You threw it there. You get the ball.
No you get the ball.
You get it.
No YOU get it.
I'm 35. You're 2. YOU get the ball.
I was laughing too hard to find out who one that battle.
Monday, June 21, 2010
A Parent's Falling IQ Starts Earlier Than Originally Thought
"ICE CREAM TRUCK!"
No, Fedex Truck
"ICE CREAM TRUCK!"
No, Fedex Truck
"Oh daddy!" *rolls eyes*
Inside the store:
Don't touch anything.
No, don't touch.
Don't touch!
John picks something up
"Daddy. No TOUCH!"
No, Fedex Truck
"ICE CREAM TRUCK!"
No, Fedex Truck
"Oh daddy!" *rolls eyes*
Inside the store:
Don't touch anything.
No, don't touch.
Don't touch!
John picks something up
"Daddy. No TOUCH!"
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Puppet Doh and and and it hurts
While looking through a book this morning at breakfast:
"Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear."
It's a puppet though.
"Puppet doh. Puppet doh. Puppet doh."
At lunch time:
Can you ask mommy if she'd like some lunch?
"Mommy, you like bread? And cheese? And... and..."
Can mommy have bread with cheese, mayo, and turkey?
"Shoo ah! No problem!"
This afternoon:
"Mommy it hurts"
What hurts honey?
"My finger."
Well stop biting it silly.
"Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear."
It's a puppet though.
"Puppet doh. Puppet doh. Puppet doh."
At lunch time:
Can you ask mommy if she'd like some lunch?
"Mommy, you like bread? And cheese? And... and..."
Can mommy have bread with cheese, mayo, and turkey?
"Shoo ah! No problem!"
This afternoon:
"Mommy it hurts"
What hurts honey?
"My finger."
Well stop biting it silly.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Technology and a Toddler
Did you know iPods have a lock feature? I sure didn't. You know who did? Little Man. He locked out my iPod. I thought it was bad the day I was half way to work and realized I didn't have my cell phone so I turned around to get it. Not having my iPod? Sweet Mother. Can we say major withdrawal? Thankfully my other favorite invention saved me. Type "unlock iPod" in Google and the top result took care of it in seconds.
He is not allowed anywhere near my new Droid.
He is not allowed anywhere near my new Droid.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Toddler Speak
Listening to a toddler speak can be funnier than a George Carlin marathon.
"Truck" is not the typical issue in this house. Nope. "Fox" is. I love when that flash card comes up.
"Ring around the posie. Pasta bowl of posie"
"Baah baah back sheeeep. Hah yew any woo? Yesh suh yesh suh fee bay fo. One fo da ma-stir, one fo da dame. And one fo mommy."
"And" sounds a lot like "ee" so up and down sounds like "up ee down". When sung sounds like "uppie down".
Oh, and the wheels on the bus don't go round ee round. They go up ee down, uppie down.
Lowrider buses... oh yeah.
"Truck" is not the typical issue in this house. Nope. "Fox" is. I love when that flash card comes up.
"Ring around the posie. Pasta bowl of posie"
"Baah baah back sheeeep. Hah yew any woo? Yesh suh yesh suh fee bay fo. One fo da ma-stir, one fo da dame. And one fo mommy."
"And" sounds a lot like "ee" so up and down sounds like "up ee down". When sung sounds like "uppie down".
Oh, and the wheels on the bus don't go round ee round. They go up ee down, uppie down.
Lowrider buses... oh yeah.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
A is for Ant
Little Man likes to move the magnetic letters from the fridge to the front door and back. They were accidentally left on the front door the other day. Added a nice touch to the front of the house - along with the pin wheel he won't let me remove from the garden (my sister is going to LOVE that - story for another time). I moved them back to the kitchen table this morning before someone decided to superglue them to the columns on the front porch. Ok, so maybe I'm the neighbor that would think to do that.
Little Man wanted dinner tonight but he didn't want Mommy to waste time actually cooking it as he prefer it magically cook itself so I could play with him. Toys are not allowed in the kitchen, especially when I am cooking so I distracted him by asking him to put the letters back on the fridge.
He would pick up a letter and ask me "what's that?"
A and A is for....?
"ANT!"
Good job.
This progressed for each letter as he put them back. Every now and then he would stumble on coming up with a word that started with the letter he was holding and I would have to supply one.
"What's that?"
P and P is for....?
Blank stare.
Scrunches brow. Gears are spinning.
Shrugs. Gives up.
P is for Perfect.
"MOMMY!" and runs to give me a hug.
Damn skippy child!
Little Man wanted dinner tonight but he didn't want Mommy to waste time actually cooking it as he prefer it magically cook itself so I could play with him. Toys are not allowed in the kitchen, especially when I am cooking so I distracted him by asking him to put the letters back on the fridge.
He would pick up a letter and ask me "what's that?"
A and A is for....?
"ANT!"
Good job.
This progressed for each letter as he put them back. Every now and then he would stumble on coming up with a word that started with the letter he was holding and I would have to supply one.
"What's that?"
P and P is for....?
Blank stare.
Scrunches brow. Gears are spinning.
Shrugs. Gives up.
P is for Perfect.
"MOMMY!" and runs to give me a hug.
Damn skippy child!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Afternoon Snack
Little Man spent the 3 minute drive home complaining about his nose. Unfortunately due to what I think and hope are allergies, his nose is crusty. This evening it seemed especially crusty so I told him to wait until we got home so I could get same saline and/or warm water on it. It would be gentler on him to clean it that way. After multiple repititions, he calms. I get him in the house, put stuff down and go to take his shoes off.
"Mommy I get it! I get it!"
Huh?
I eat mommy? I eat?
Eat what? Nooooooooo.
Too late.
"Mommy I get it! I get it!"
Huh?
I eat mommy? I eat?
Eat what? Nooooooooo.
Too late.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Flashes of Brilliance
Little Man and I were going through flash cards tonight. I made sure to mix them up with ones he would know immediately and new ones. I could tell by his face the second he recognized the picture. As he called out the word he would leap on me.
I held up a new one. His face lit up and he jumped up to hug me as he cried "MOMMY!"
It was a picture of a queen.
I held up a new one. His face lit up and he jumped up to hug me as he cried "MOMMY!"
It was a picture of a queen.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Unexpected #2
John and I were sitting outside enjoying some wine but the chill in the air became a little much since we were in short sleeves so we moved in doors. Good idea since I forgot to bring the monitor out. No sooner do we walk in then I hear Little Man crying. My heart breaks as I think he's been wailing for Goddess knows how long. I race upstairs but can tell from the lack of hysteria, red face and sweaty hair that he had just started when we walked in.
I calm him, lay him back down and stay with him as he is still restless, grabbing desparately at my arm any time I move one muscle, fearful that I am leaving him. I don't have a clue what is going on - bad dream, another tooth, painful eyes (he's had goopy eyes the last few days any time he wakes up) - I don't know.
He starts crying again, a little on the hard side and he sits up. I wrap my arms around him and ask him what's wrong. He shifts, looks around and asks for....
....Daddy.
You want Daddy?
Uh huh. Daddy.
Ok baby. Hold on. I'll go get Daddy.
Thankfully Daddy was at the bottom of the stairs.
How Bizarre.
I calm him, lay him back down and stay with him as he is still restless, grabbing desparately at my arm any time I move one muscle, fearful that I am leaving him. I don't have a clue what is going on - bad dream, another tooth, painful eyes (he's had goopy eyes the last few days any time he wakes up) - I don't know.
He starts crying again, a little on the hard side and he sits up. I wrap my arms around him and ask him what's wrong. He shifts, looks around and asks for....
....Daddy.
You want Daddy?
Uh huh. Daddy.
Ok baby. Hold on. I'll go get Daddy.
Thankfully Daddy was at the bottom of the stairs.
How Bizarre.
The Unexpected
Well this was unexpected.
John had Little Man almost all weekend. Not that I was away. I went into mode. Going into mode can be dangerous. I'm sure you've received the joke about Adult ADD. You go to the mailbox to get the mail but you notice the car it dirty... yada yada yada. When I get in mode, I can end up living that joke. It started Saturday. John took Little Man to the park. I started going through clothes he had outgrown. I went downstairs to get a plastic tub to store the clothes in. Got distracted. I don't even remember what distracted me. Needless to say, the clothes still aren't put away.
So what did get done? Quite a lot actually. The wallpaper is gone from the living room (yes, wallpaper still exists much to my dismay, especially in my house). The wall is patched an almost completely sanded. The main floor was vacuumed - yes, I vacuumed and then sanded. Brilliant am I. The kitchen floor is washed. The dining room is clean although still not entirely void of some clutter.
The front lawn is devoid of some weeds. In order to get rid of all that have taken over, we will need to lay new sod down. I didn't get quite that far. The Moss Roses are planted. The hanging plants hung. The front porch and steps are swept. Overall it looks decent. Not perfect as there is still the crack in the porch to contend with but we are getting there.
The back deck is now void of all leaves. The furniture is rearranged and the hanging plants are well - hung. I've decided they will look better on stands then hanging from the fence but I was too sweaty and dirty to make a trip to the store at that point. Oh and the umbrella is back over the table. Finally.
I'm sore. I'm tired but I'm enjoying the fruit of my labor. Gotta love wireless. It allows me to sit out on the back deck with a glass of wine and my laptop. How did we ever survive before wireless?
Even bath time went a tad better than normal. But the best part of this entire weekend? Little Man spent so much time with Dad, when it came time for one of us to sit with him while he fell asleep - he asked for Daddy!
I was shocked. I was almost rendered speechless (damn hard to do. The kid is only 2 so he needs more practice). I did a mental happy dance and tried to keep the extreme glee out of my voice when I called John back into the room.
Do I dare hope? Do I dare believe that maybe, just maybe this Mommy Only Phase is just a phase and has an endpoint? Is it possible?
The Red Sox may have won the World Series and caused Hell to freeze over but there are still somethings that are in the Realm of Impossiblity. Tomorrow I will exit the Twilight Zone and go back to my "comfort" zone of being at Little Man's beck and call.
But tonight - tonight I will lock myself firmly in place and enjoy the last few moments of peace and quiet and wine.
John had Little Man almost all weekend. Not that I was away. I went into mode. Going into mode can be dangerous. I'm sure you've received the joke about Adult ADD. You go to the mailbox to get the mail but you notice the car it dirty... yada yada yada. When I get in mode, I can end up living that joke. It started Saturday. John took Little Man to the park. I started going through clothes he had outgrown. I went downstairs to get a plastic tub to store the clothes in. Got distracted. I don't even remember what distracted me. Needless to say, the clothes still aren't put away.
So what did get done? Quite a lot actually. The wallpaper is gone from the living room (yes, wallpaper still exists much to my dismay, especially in my house). The wall is patched an almost completely sanded. The main floor was vacuumed - yes, I vacuumed and then sanded. Brilliant am I. The kitchen floor is washed. The dining room is clean although still not entirely void of some clutter.
The front lawn is devoid of some weeds. In order to get rid of all that have taken over, we will need to lay new sod down. I didn't get quite that far. The Moss Roses are planted. The hanging plants hung. The front porch and steps are swept. Overall it looks decent. Not perfect as there is still the crack in the porch to contend with but we are getting there.
The back deck is now void of all leaves. The furniture is rearranged and the hanging plants are well - hung. I've decided they will look better on stands then hanging from the fence but I was too sweaty and dirty to make a trip to the store at that point. Oh and the umbrella is back over the table. Finally.
I'm sore. I'm tired but I'm enjoying the fruit of my labor. Gotta love wireless. It allows me to sit out on the back deck with a glass of wine and my laptop. How did we ever survive before wireless?
Even bath time went a tad better than normal. But the best part of this entire weekend? Little Man spent so much time with Dad, when it came time for one of us to sit with him while he fell asleep - he asked for Daddy!
I was shocked. I was almost rendered speechless (damn hard to do. The kid is only 2 so he needs more practice). I did a mental happy dance and tried to keep the extreme glee out of my voice when I called John back into the room.
Do I dare hope? Do I dare believe that maybe, just maybe this Mommy Only Phase is just a phase and has an endpoint? Is it possible?
The Red Sox may have won the World Series and caused Hell to freeze over but there are still somethings that are in the Realm of Impossiblity. Tomorrow I will exit the Twilight Zone and go back to my "comfort" zone of being at Little Man's beck and call.
But tonight - tonight I will lock myself firmly in place and enjoy the last few moments of peace and quiet and wine.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Camping out
We ran an experiment tonight. John is camping out with Little Man in the living room. They are supposed to head north to visit Granny and Grandpop soon. The Irish Contingency is moving in with Granny and Grandpop. The house is not big enough to house them never mind throwing my husband and imp into the mix.
So John decided a trial run was in order. After putting him in his pjs we told him we had a surprise for him. John grabbed his pillow and books. Little Man was confused. He grasped Puppy, Monkey, and Lion and then me in a death grip.
We went to the living room and I laid out his sleeping bag and pillow. Excitement set in. I breathed a little easier. John read to him and then it was time for bed. He headed for the stairs.
No baby. You and Daddy (I accidentally typed Daffy - freudian?) are camping out in the living room tonight.
Huh?
We get him in his sleeping bag. John gets comfortable on the couch (cheater). I shut out the lights. No go. He wants lights on. I try lights down the hall. I get his night light from the room. Nope. He wants the hall light on. Ok.
I walk back into the living room to kiss him goodnight. He looks like he is bordering on being terrified. I try to talk him down. He realizes I am not staying and grabs on tight to me. I explain that Daddy is staying with him and if he's not comfortable he can go upstairs to his room. It takes a minute or two. I am just about to give up and let him go upstairs when he changes his mind and decides to give it a try.
I head downstairs fully expecting to hear them marching upstairs within a few minutes. That was several hours ago. I just went upstairs to raid the fridge. John is on the floor next to Little Man. They are both snoring away.
Step one was a success. Now to see what happens around 4 AM - his normal time to crawl into my side of the bed. Gates secured. Mommy is getting sleep tonight!
So John decided a trial run was in order. After putting him in his pjs we told him we had a surprise for him. John grabbed his pillow and books. Little Man was confused. He grasped Puppy, Monkey, and Lion and then me in a death grip.
We went to the living room and I laid out his sleeping bag and pillow. Excitement set in. I breathed a little easier. John read to him and then it was time for bed. He headed for the stairs.
No baby. You and Daddy (I accidentally typed Daffy - freudian?) are camping out in the living room tonight.
Huh?
We get him in his sleeping bag. John gets comfortable on the couch (cheater). I shut out the lights. No go. He wants lights on. I try lights down the hall. I get his night light from the room. Nope. He wants the hall light on. Ok.
I walk back into the living room to kiss him goodnight. He looks like he is bordering on being terrified. I try to talk him down. He realizes I am not staying and grabs on tight to me. I explain that Daddy is staying with him and if he's not comfortable he can go upstairs to his room. It takes a minute or two. I am just about to give up and let him go upstairs when he changes his mind and decides to give it a try.
I head downstairs fully expecting to hear them marching upstairs within a few minutes. That was several hours ago. I just went upstairs to raid the fridge. John is on the floor next to Little Man. They are both snoring away.
Step one was a success. Now to see what happens around 4 AM - his normal time to crawl into my side of the bed. Gates secured. Mommy is getting sleep tonight!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Lady bugs, hot dogs and chicken
We had a good night tonight. Little Man managed to pick up a tiny ant without squashing it and let it crawl all over his hand and arm laughing and yelling "It tickles!" the entire time. He was enthralled. Of course he was calling it a lady bug but hey what's the difference?
It took several minutes to get him in the house. I had to bribe him with a banana. I was carrying my stuff and his stuff. My arm was about to fall off. Normally when we walk in, he starts demanding I take his shoes off (mom's house rule - no shoes). Tonight he took off running for the bathroom.
"Bye! See you morrow!" As he shuts himself in.
Bye. Don't forget to take your shoes off.
He opens the door.
"Bye! See you morrow!" As he shuts himself in.
Bye. Don't forget to take your shoes off.
Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera.
I coughed up the promised banana which immediately prompted a request for a hot dog, no chicken, no hot dog, no chicken, no....
Do you want a hot dog or chicken for dinner?
"Yes."
He eats. He plays. I get some cleaning done. I move upstairs in order to vacuum his room. He still isn't a fan of the vacuum. I'm half way through his room when he changes his mind and decides he wants to come up with me. He helps me finish his room so I decide to continue with the guest room and the hallway.
Bad idea. His comfort level has plummetted and he ends up curled up in his bed with paci and puppy crying his poor little eyes out. Man does he hate the vacuum. I stop. I soothe. I convince him to let me finish the hallway and then we are back downstairs to play.
Comfort level does not increase. He pops himself in the head with his puzzle's "fishing rod". Wrap him in my arms and pull him into my lap and he calms.
Then out of the blue, he decides he wants yogurt. He hasn't been on a yogurt kick in weeks. Whew, thankfully I have some in the fridge. Aw shit - expiration date is way past. Melt down ensues. I walk away. He follows. Whew. Needed him out of the kitchen in order to distract and I am successful!
For 5 minutes. He starts to melt again. This time he asks for his paci. Nope. No way. You only get that if you are going to bed.
"PACI! I want my PACI!"
You only get your paci at bed time. You know the rules.
"Ok. I clean up now"
It is 6:30 PM. Bed time is an hour away. He doesn't care. He cleans up his toys, hands me puppy and asks to be picked up. It's an hour before bed time and he's ready. I carry him upstairs expecting him to change his mind.
Nope. He plops his little behind on the changing pad. Helps me put his PJs on. Picks out books and says he wants to sit in my lap for books. Instead of the usual 3 books, I read him 4. When we finished the 4th, I was prepared to grab a 5th but Little Man had other plans. He scrambles down from my lap and climbs into bed. It isn't even 7 PM yet. I turn on his night light. He tells me to turn it off. Who the hell is this kid?
Now before you think he promptly put his head on his pillow (he did) and promptly went to sleep - he didn't.
All and all it was good. It was fun. It makes me regret having to work tomorrow. Good thing its Friday.
It took several minutes to get him in the house. I had to bribe him with a banana. I was carrying my stuff and his stuff. My arm was about to fall off. Normally when we walk in, he starts demanding I take his shoes off (mom's house rule - no shoes). Tonight he took off running for the bathroom.
"Bye! See you morrow!" As he shuts himself in.
Bye. Don't forget to take your shoes off.
He opens the door.
"Bye! See you morrow!" As he shuts himself in.
Bye. Don't forget to take your shoes off.
Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera.
I coughed up the promised banana which immediately prompted a request for a hot dog, no chicken, no hot dog, no chicken, no....
Do you want a hot dog or chicken for dinner?
"Yes."
He eats. He plays. I get some cleaning done. I move upstairs in order to vacuum his room. He still isn't a fan of the vacuum. I'm half way through his room when he changes his mind and decides he wants to come up with me. He helps me finish his room so I decide to continue with the guest room and the hallway.
Bad idea. His comfort level has plummetted and he ends up curled up in his bed with paci and puppy crying his poor little eyes out. Man does he hate the vacuum. I stop. I soothe. I convince him to let me finish the hallway and then we are back downstairs to play.
Comfort level does not increase. He pops himself in the head with his puzzle's "fishing rod". Wrap him in my arms and pull him into my lap and he calms.
Then out of the blue, he decides he wants yogurt. He hasn't been on a yogurt kick in weeks. Whew, thankfully I have some in the fridge. Aw shit - expiration date is way past. Melt down ensues. I walk away. He follows. Whew. Needed him out of the kitchen in order to distract and I am successful!
For 5 minutes. He starts to melt again. This time he asks for his paci. Nope. No way. You only get that if you are going to bed.
"PACI! I want my PACI!"
You only get your paci at bed time. You know the rules.
"Ok. I clean up now"
It is 6:30 PM. Bed time is an hour away. He doesn't care. He cleans up his toys, hands me puppy and asks to be picked up. It's an hour before bed time and he's ready. I carry him upstairs expecting him to change his mind.
Nope. He plops his little behind on the changing pad. Helps me put his PJs on. Picks out books and says he wants to sit in my lap for books. Instead of the usual 3 books, I read him 4. When we finished the 4th, I was prepared to grab a 5th but Little Man had other plans. He scrambles down from my lap and climbs into bed. It isn't even 7 PM yet. I turn on his night light. He tells me to turn it off. Who the hell is this kid?
Now before you think he promptly put his head on his pillow (he did) and promptly went to sleep - he didn't.
All and all it was good. It was fun. It makes me regret having to work tomorrow. Good thing its Friday.
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