Conversation after bowl #2 of pasta:
Little Man: "I need more pasta".
John: "Why don't you let it settle for a bit and then see if you are still hungry".
Little Man: "My tummy is telling me it needs more pasta so it can settle".
Me: "Do you want more pasta or do you want dessert? We have ice cream and Ice Box Pie...."
Little Man: "More pasta please".
Say what?
Saturday, April 7, 2012
The Seemingly Innocuous
Having a child results in many a changes in a household. For example: baby proofing your house. You spend the first several months taking quick eye measurements to make sure things such as hot food or drink, cleaning solutions, beer, wine, etc. are out of flailing arms reach.
Once the crawling and standing stages hit, you spend your time taking eye measurements to ensure cleaning products and breakables are up high, electrical outlets are well protected and knives, scissors, hammers, hedge clippers, etc. are no where in the vicinity.
Then the walking stage hits and with it comes the ever-present stool in the bathroom so all medications, nail scissors and such that are stored in the medicine cabinet need to be moved.
It's never-ending.
There's the brother that was able to get a hold of a metal object, I believe a table knife, and decided to see if it would fit in the electrical socket. The shock sends him flying backwards (hardwood floors aid the slide). Not deterred, he goes back for seconds (still convinced those covers were invented because of him).
There's the sister who thought the cover to the pilot light on the stove looked like a trolley and wanted to play with it. Same child is also not allowed near sharp knives as an adult. It is still considered a small miracle that all ten fingers are still intact.
There's the same brother who almost lost a finger thanks to electric hedge clippers. Actually, not that I think of it, he's the poster child for baby-proofing for life.
There's the lie called Child-Proof Caps and the numerous pre-schoolers I know who can open them faster and easier than their parents.
How many of you heard the one about the child who thought a PB&J sandwich went into the VCR (for those of you who know what a VCR is without hitting Google)? Come on - you know that one has to be true. It's too good not to be.
So early in the whole Parenting thing, most of us become very adept at the whole child-proofing thing.
Until something seemingly completely innocuous enters the picture and you have to rethink your entire safety plan.
Take your every day band aid. In general, this is not considered harmful to a pre-schooler. In fact, they are the complete opposite and can even help heal the pain of an imagined boo-boo. The worst danger posed is a child using an entire box on his arms and legs, or one of his favorite toys, or maybe your walls. Outside of having to buy another box, no harm, no foul. Right?
WRONG!
Little Man hasn't been feeling well and was starting to feel a little warm this morning so we decided to take his temperature. He immediately starts in on a super-fast set of instructions that we need to follow before taking his temperature. Something about not messing with his band aid. The last band aid I put on him was the other night to protect a blister on the back of his ankle. How I could mess with that while taking his temperature is a little beyond me so I'm trying to explain to him that I'll be very gentle and not touch his ankle.
Only problem was that wasn't the band aid he was referring to.
He was referring to the band aid that he put on.
By himself.
On his scrotum.
Once the crawling and standing stages hit, you spend your time taking eye measurements to ensure cleaning products and breakables are up high, electrical outlets are well protected and knives, scissors, hammers, hedge clippers, etc. are no where in the vicinity.
Then the walking stage hits and with it comes the ever-present stool in the bathroom so all medications, nail scissors and such that are stored in the medicine cabinet need to be moved.
It's never-ending.
There's the brother that was able to get a hold of a metal object, I believe a table knife, and decided to see if it would fit in the electrical socket. The shock sends him flying backwards (hardwood floors aid the slide). Not deterred, he goes back for seconds (still convinced those covers were invented because of him).
There's the sister who thought the cover to the pilot light on the stove looked like a trolley and wanted to play with it. Same child is also not allowed near sharp knives as an adult. It is still considered a small miracle that all ten fingers are still intact.
There's the same brother who almost lost a finger thanks to electric hedge clippers. Actually, not that I think of it, he's the poster child for baby-proofing for life.
There's the lie called Child-Proof Caps and the numerous pre-schoolers I know who can open them faster and easier than their parents.
How many of you heard the one about the child who thought a PB&J sandwich went into the VCR (for those of you who know what a VCR is without hitting Google)? Come on - you know that one has to be true. It's too good not to be.
So early in the whole Parenting thing, most of us become very adept at the whole child-proofing thing.
Until something seemingly completely innocuous enters the picture and you have to rethink your entire safety plan.
Take your every day band aid. In general, this is not considered harmful to a pre-schooler. In fact, they are the complete opposite and can even help heal the pain of an imagined boo-boo. The worst danger posed is a child using an entire box on his arms and legs, or one of his favorite toys, or maybe your walls. Outside of having to buy another box, no harm, no foul. Right?
WRONG!
Little Man hasn't been feeling well and was starting to feel a little warm this morning so we decided to take his temperature. He immediately starts in on a super-fast set of instructions that we need to follow before taking his temperature. Something about not messing with his band aid. The last band aid I put on him was the other night to protect a blister on the back of his ankle. How I could mess with that while taking his temperature is a little beyond me so I'm trying to explain to him that I'll be very gentle and not touch his ankle.
Only problem was that wasn't the band aid he was referring to.
He was referring to the band aid that he put on.
By himself.
On his scrotum.
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