Allergies

"Mommy, I have to tell you something and it's a little scary."

OK, what's so scary?

"Well, I'm a little scared of my room. It's telling me that it is a little creepy and too dark in there."

OK, well how about I turn on the lamp for you and then it won't be so creepy and dark. There. See, not so dark  and creepy now. You are fine. Go back to bed.

"Well you see Mommy. I'm allergic."

You're allergic? Allergic to what?

"Um, well, the dark. I'm allergic to the dark."

You're allergic to the dark?

"Yes, I'm allergic to the dark. My doctor told me so. I'm allergic to three things. I'm allergic to sleeping alone. I'm allergic to the dark. I'm allergic to the bright."

You are allergic to the dark and to the bright?

"Um, well... yes. I'm allergic to sleeping alone and to the dark. But if I sleep with someone else, I'm not allergic to the dark. I'm only allergic to the bright when I sleep with someone else. See, my doctor told me I am allergic to these three things and you know when I am allergic to these three things?"

No dear. Please enlighten me.

"When I turn 4. My doctor told me."

So if you sleep by yourself, it has to be bright otherwise if it is dark, you need to sleep with someone or you will be allergic?

"Yes Mommy. My doctor told me so."

Good thing your lamp is on. Have a goodnight sweetie.

"But... wait. I need to think about this. Let me scratch my head."

No problem child. You let me know when you've figured that one out. In the mean time, have a good night. I love you and I will see you in the morning.

To Have... or not to have

I have one child. A son.

For the record I done. No I am not having anymore.

The craving is gone.

I'm happy with what I have.

And yet people feel the need to ask me constantly when I'm having another.

I tell myself it is because I don't look my age. People think I'm younger than I am. Still in my prime baby-making age. Man ego is a great thing, isn't it?

I'm not but that isn't the reason. Like I said, the craving is gone. The factory is closed.

You'd think I praised Hitler or swore my undying love for Mussolini the way some people react. An only child? But only children are spoiled brats.

Really? Citation please and by citation I do not mean your own anecdotal evidence because my anecdotal evidence blows yours away. You'll tell me you knew an only child growing up and he/she was the biggest spoiled brat ever. My response? Without thinking I can list 5 that I know quite well and not one is a spoiled brat. All 6 are intelligent, thoughtful, caring individuals. 2 of the 6 are teenagers and 1 isn't even close to his preteens. Doing for others unselfishly is second nature of all 6 so pfft.

Believe it or not, some of us don't want large broods. Some of us are perfectly content with having one child.

I believe in population control. I do not want to contribute beyond what I have to the ever burgeoning overcrowding on this planet.

I also believe strongly in adoption. My own personal belief is it is incredibly selfish to have more than one child when there are plenty in this country alone in desperate need of a loving home.

This is my belief and I don't force my beliefs on anyone (except my son who is too young to know otherwise for the time being and I'm playing that card for as long as I can).

So if you want to have 2, 8, 10, 20 kids, go for it. That is your decision and I respect it. All I ask is you respect my decision.

By the way, respecting a person's decisions means keeping your mouth shut and not making comments.

Besides I already deal with the "I'm not touching you", "I know you are but what am I", "Why are you hitting yourself?" between my husband and my son. Why the hell would I want to add another to the mix?

Oh wait, I'm the one who does the "why are you hitting yourself"....

The Game of Life

No it isn't some catchy title for this entry. I'm not very good at those anyway. I am talking about the Milton Bradley game: The Game of Life.

Little Man discovered it in the closet today and wanted to play. John, being a good sport and having an overwhelming amount of patience today decided what the hell. I watch him set it up expecting Little Man to implement his own crazy rules after the first couple of spins. I mean what 4 year old isn't going to be instantly bored by the Game of Life.

Not mine. Granted, John did most of the work acting as his financial trustee but the kid stuck it through. He even announced right away that he wanted childrens (his word): 2 babies and 2 childs (again, his words. Mrs. Poole would be lecturing me on my lack of skills when it comes to teaching this child the English language). After all he had already obtained his college degree (doctor) and being a 21st Century child, why bother with the whole marriage thing first?

He convinced me to join in right as he was hitting retirement. I quickly became a teacher. Switched careers (on my husband's advice) and became an accountant. Then I promptly lost my job and had to start over as a professional athlete. Let's just say by "professional" they were talking the minor leagues based on my salary and I never made it to the Majors.

It was funny to watch the dynamics of the game play out. John and I, being somewhat seasoned at the real Game of Life, weren't willing to take too many chances. It panned out somewhat OK for each as we both retired with over a million (me barely, he was just shy of 2 million).

Our darling son? Cleared well over 2 million even after the gamble of the risky path didn't quite pan out. It was a minor hiccup in the grand scheme. As the first to retire, he played it smart and chose the option which would protect his assets in retirement. One that wouldn't allow the rest of us the opportunity to take advantage of the elderly. Fool... not this kid.

Typical of a normal day in this house. The parents weigh all the options and chose the safe route while the 4-year-old with little life experience to dim his optimism, jumps in feet first, eyes closed and steals the day.

Here's hoping it pays off in the long run for you kiddo.

Since your parents will retire one day.

And decide your house is the perfect retirement spot.

Just makes you all giddy with excitement doesn't it?