Laughter Keeps You Young

Little Man still doesn't grasp the concept of one phase at a time. Nor does he understand that he is not allowed to skip a phase and then go back to it at a later date.

Enter Naked Baby phase with a twist. He waits until we go downstairs to strip down. The first 2 nights it was no big deal. We threw a blanket over him and let the sleeping child lie. The 3rd night I peaked in and though everything was fine. His leg was bare but I figured his pant leg had rolled up on him. John actually went into the room to check on him. He is a very smart man. Not only had Little Man stripped off his PJs but he'd stripped his pull-up as well.

Now there have been countless times that I've taken this kid out of the car and gotten him upstairs in bed without waking him but the second I try to remove his shoes his eyes are wide. Now I've got to get a pull-up back on him at 11 PM? Sweet Mother have mercy.

I try the gentle route but all he does is curl back up on me. I'm starting to get a bit nervous that if I don't solve this problem quickly I'll be changing sheets and mattress pad as well as trying to get a pull-up back on him. Gentleness goes out the window. I grab the kid's legs and wrestle him into his pull-up. He signs, curls up and eyes remain shut. Of course I almost woke him with my laughter/hootin and hollerin at my success.

We are also trying to get him to sleep in his own bed the entire night. We've had some success but have discovered a direct correlation to how warm he stays at night. So much for one battle at a time. For each night he stays in his own room, he gets a matchbox car.

Yes. I bribe my kid. My conscience is clear but you do not reserve the right to remind me of this when he turns 16 and gets his license as I'm instituting a statue of limitations.

John put Little Man to bed one night and reminded him how he could get a car. Kid slept for an hour, woke up and demanded a car. Guess we have to work on his concept of time. I haven't pushed this issue. Forget the song It's 5 O'clock Somewhere. In Little Man's world, every day is Friday. I think I like his world better.

The other night he attempted to climb into bed with us. After kicking John below the belt, he was put back in his own room. He waited until John would be too sleepy to think through his actions and came back in. When the sun finally cracked the horizon he woke me up trying to claim he had slept in his own bed all night and I owed him a car.

Honey, not only is your father lying right next to me and can hear everything you are saying but we've already talked. I know you didn't spend all night in your bed. Nice try.

We did get him back into the routine the next night. The next morning he came to wake my but no mention of a car so I let it go. To date we haven't had to bribe him very long. Once he gets the hang of it we are able to talk him out of the bribes.

But as he grows so does his little mind. He waited until after he woke from his nap to remind me that I owed him a car. Sneaky lil imp. I had every intention of getting him a car. I really did but who the hell do you think he inherited Shiny Object Syndrome from? So I still owe him a car which he forgot about yet again.

I guarantee you tomorrow morning he will be demanding I give him two cars and if I cave, in a week he'll be demanding 3 per night slept in his own bed. I can't even tell him we are out. He'll just tell me to go to the store and buy more. Kind of like when I was little and ask my mom for something and she would say she didn't have the money. I'd respond "Just write a check".

A Mother's Revenge, Karma, whatever you want to call it, it is being dangled in my face just out of reach so I can't swat it out of the galaxy. Alas, laughter keeps you young so at this rate, my mom will live forever.