Bedtime is fun. Little Man runs around the upstairs barking and panting like a puppy ignoring my pleas and my threats to get back in his room and get ready for bed. He's had a fever at night the past two nights so I had to take his temp. He snagged the thermometer from me saying he would do it. Little Mr. Independent now wants to take his own temperature. Did I mention I am the cruelest mom in the world? No under the arm or under the tongue in this house yet. Yes, feel for my poor child. The horrors he must bear. Apparently one of his coping measures it to try to do it himself. Apparently that is slightly less humiliating. Alas no luck. Let the humiliation ensue.
The humiliation was short-lived and he recovered instantaneously as he saw the little red light appear on the thermometer.
"I have fever?"
Yes baby. You have a fever.
"I like fever mommy".
I'm still shaking my head over that one.
We move on to reading Frosty (singing actually) and The Night Before Christmas (it helps reinforce the Santa's Good List bribe I've been working the past two weeks). Right before he goes to bed we have to move onto our new evening routine. I cradle him in my arms and sing Rock A Bye Baby (Rock A My Baby according to Little Man). As I hit the last line I "drop" him in bed.
It is John's night to stay with him. Our time spent sitting in his room has drastically shorten as we are (slowly) preparing (ourselves) to end this routine. He is laying on his pillow, one leg extended and one leg bent. He turns to his father and says "Daddy I pee".
You pee or you have to pee?
"I pee daddy".
You pee where exactly?
"In my pull up daddy. I pee right now" he states pointing to his pull up.
That's a step in potty training right? Please tell me it is a step. Ah, forget it, I'm making it a step.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sleepy Time, Bananas and Oranges
We tried a new tactic last night. We told Little Man that he could not come into our room our room until he heard our alarms. "No mommy. The alarm is off." Oh trust me child. It will be.
At least now when he crawls into bed with us, he goes back to sleep. He used to treat our bed as play time. Of course he climbed into bed with us. No PJs but he did have a pull up. One good thing. It takes him no time at all to completely take over my side of the bed. I had a the start of a foot cramp. No sooner do I stand up to break it then he spreads out leaving me the foot of the bed. We tried moving him but he woke right up and I wasn't in the mood for a cry fest so I put him back in bed making room for myself.
Yeah. Right. That worked. For all of 2 seconds.
So I'm now lying with my head at the foot of the bed and using my legs to provide a barrier so he doesn't roll off. John and I are discussing our options in a whisper. Little Man pops up, taps my leg and says "No Talking Mommy! Sleepy time!" and promptly goes back to sleep.
Oh so it is sleepy time when you want it to be. I see how you think it is. Think kiddo. Think. Reality is a whole other ballgame.
Tonight's procrastination involved his eyes. I asked him what was wrong.
"They are black... They are black... They are black and white!"
Kiss kiss and back to bed child.
Then his ears were bothering him. I take a look and they are covered in dirt and dried wax. I take him into my bathroom for a little warm water and a washing.
"Knock knock mommy".
Who's there?
"Banana".
Banana who?
Eyes drift back and forth.
"Orange?"
I laughed. He's pleased with himself. Can't wait to teach him about searching for blueberries.
At least now when he crawls into bed with us, he goes back to sleep. He used to treat our bed as play time. Of course he climbed into bed with us. No PJs but he did have a pull up. One good thing. It takes him no time at all to completely take over my side of the bed. I had a the start of a foot cramp. No sooner do I stand up to break it then he spreads out leaving me the foot of the bed. We tried moving him but he woke right up and I wasn't in the mood for a cry fest so I put him back in bed making room for myself.
Yeah. Right. That worked. For all of 2 seconds.
So I'm now lying with my head at the foot of the bed and using my legs to provide a barrier so he doesn't roll off. John and I are discussing our options in a whisper. Little Man pops up, taps my leg and says "No Talking Mommy! Sleepy time!" and promptly goes back to sleep.
Oh so it is sleepy time when you want it to be. I see how you think it is. Think kiddo. Think. Reality is a whole other ballgame.
Tonight's procrastination involved his eyes. I asked him what was wrong.
"They are black... They are black... They are black and white!"
Kiss kiss and back to bed child.
Then his ears were bothering him. I take a look and they are covered in dirt and dried wax. I take him into my bathroom for a little warm water and a washing.
"Knock knock mommy".
Who's there?
"Banana".
Banana who?
Eyes drift back and forth.
"Orange?"
I laughed. He's pleased with himself. Can't wait to teach him about searching for blueberries.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Laughter Keeps You Young
Little Man still doesn't grasp the concept of one phase at a time. Nor does he understand that he is not allowed to skip a phase and then go back to it at a later date.
Enter Naked Baby phase with a twist. He waits until we go downstairs to strip down. The first 2 nights it was no big deal. We threw a blanket over him and let the sleeping child lie. The 3rd night I peaked in and though everything was fine. His leg was bare but I figured his pant leg had rolled up on him. John actually went into the room to check on him. He is a very smart man. Not only had Little Man stripped off his PJs but he'd stripped his pull-up as well.
Now there have been countless times that I've taken this kid out of the car and gotten him upstairs in bed without waking him but the second I try to remove his shoes his eyes are wide. Now I've got to get a pull-up back on him at 11 PM? Sweet Mother have mercy.
I try the gentle route but all he does is curl back up on me. I'm starting to get a bit nervous that if I don't solve this problem quickly I'll be changing sheets and mattress pad as well as trying to get a pull-up back on him. Gentleness goes out the window. I grab the kid's legs and wrestle him into his pull-up. He signs, curls up and eyes remain shut. Of course I almost woke him with my laughter/hootin and hollerin at my success.
We are also trying to get him to sleep in his own bed the entire night. We've had some success but have discovered a direct correlation to how warm he stays at night. So much for one battle at a time. For each night he stays in his own room, he gets a matchbox car.
Yes. I bribe my kid. My conscience is clear but you do not reserve the right to remind me of this when he turns 16 and gets his license as I'm instituting a statue of limitations.
John put Little Man to bed one night and reminded him how he could get a car. Kid slept for an hour, woke up and demanded a car. Guess we have to work on his concept of time. I haven't pushed this issue. Forget the song It's 5 O'clock Somewhere. In Little Man's world, every day is Friday. I think I like his world better.
The other night he attempted to climb into bed with us. After kicking John below the belt, he was put back in his own room. He waited until John would be too sleepy to think through his actions and came back in. When the sun finally cracked the horizon he woke me up trying to claim he had slept in his own bed all night and I owed him a car.
Honey, not only is your father lying right next to me and can hear everything you are saying but we've already talked. I know you didn't spend all night in your bed. Nice try.
We did get him back into the routine the next night. The next morning he came to wake my but no mention of a car so I let it go. To date we haven't had to bribe him very long. Once he gets the hang of it we are able to talk him out of the bribes.
But as he grows so does his little mind. He waited until after he woke from his nap to remind me that I owed him a car. Sneaky lil imp. I had every intention of getting him a car. I really did but who the hell do you think he inherited Shiny Object Syndrome from? So I still owe him a car which he forgot about yet again.
I guarantee you tomorrow morning he will be demanding I give him two cars and if I cave, in a week he'll be demanding 3 per night slept in his own bed. I can't even tell him we are out. He'll just tell me to go to the store and buy more. Kind of like when I was little and ask my mom for something and she would say she didn't have the money. I'd respond "Just write a check".
A Mother's Revenge, Karma, whatever you want to call it, it is being dangled in my face just out of reach so I can't swat it out of the galaxy. Alas, laughter keeps you young so at this rate, my mom will live forever.
Enter Naked Baby phase with a twist. He waits until we go downstairs to strip down. The first 2 nights it was no big deal. We threw a blanket over him and let the sleeping child lie. The 3rd night I peaked in and though everything was fine. His leg was bare but I figured his pant leg had rolled up on him. John actually went into the room to check on him. He is a very smart man. Not only had Little Man stripped off his PJs but he'd stripped his pull-up as well.
Now there have been countless times that I've taken this kid out of the car and gotten him upstairs in bed without waking him but the second I try to remove his shoes his eyes are wide. Now I've got to get a pull-up back on him at 11 PM? Sweet Mother have mercy.
I try the gentle route but all he does is curl back up on me. I'm starting to get a bit nervous that if I don't solve this problem quickly I'll be changing sheets and mattress pad as well as trying to get a pull-up back on him. Gentleness goes out the window. I grab the kid's legs and wrestle him into his pull-up. He signs, curls up and eyes remain shut. Of course I almost woke him with my laughter/hootin and hollerin at my success.
We are also trying to get him to sleep in his own bed the entire night. We've had some success but have discovered a direct correlation to how warm he stays at night. So much for one battle at a time. For each night he stays in his own room, he gets a matchbox car.
Yes. I bribe my kid. My conscience is clear but you do not reserve the right to remind me of this when he turns 16 and gets his license as I'm instituting a statue of limitations.
John put Little Man to bed one night and reminded him how he could get a car. Kid slept for an hour, woke up and demanded a car. Guess we have to work on his concept of time. I haven't pushed this issue. Forget the song It's 5 O'clock Somewhere. In Little Man's world, every day is Friday. I think I like his world better.
The other night he attempted to climb into bed with us. After kicking John below the belt, he was put back in his own room. He waited until John would be too sleepy to think through his actions and came back in. When the sun finally cracked the horizon he woke me up trying to claim he had slept in his own bed all night and I owed him a car.
Honey, not only is your father lying right next to me and can hear everything you are saying but we've already talked. I know you didn't spend all night in your bed. Nice try.
We did get him back into the routine the next night. The next morning he came to wake my but no mention of a car so I let it go. To date we haven't had to bribe him very long. Once he gets the hang of it we are able to talk him out of the bribes.
But as he grows so does his little mind. He waited until after he woke from his nap to remind me that I owed him a car. Sneaky lil imp. I had every intention of getting him a car. I really did but who the hell do you think he inherited Shiny Object Syndrome from? So I still owe him a car which he forgot about yet again.
I guarantee you tomorrow morning he will be demanding I give him two cars and if I cave, in a week he'll be demanding 3 per night slept in his own bed. I can't even tell him we are out. He'll just tell me to go to the store and buy more. Kind of like when I was little and ask my mom for something and she would say she didn't have the money. I'd respond "Just write a check".
A Mother's Revenge, Karma, whatever you want to call it, it is being dangled in my face just out of reach so I can't swat it out of the galaxy. Alas, laughter keeps you young so at this rate, my mom will live forever.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
There is procrastination and then there is...
I marvel at his skills but am a tad concerned. How much more of a procrastinator can this kid become? Poor John put him to bed tonight but as usual, he didn't want to go to sleep. John made the mistake of saying everyone was asleep.
All the animals in the zoo? The Giraffe? The Monkey? The Zebra? Yes.
Old McDonald's animals? The cows? The sheep? The turkeys? The Donkeys? The chickens? Yes.
They sleep in the barn? Yes.
And Amah, and Uncle Mark, and... Yes. Everyone is asleep.
Daddy I farted. You wanna smell it? Come on daddy. Smell it!
All the animals in the zoo? The Giraffe? The Monkey? The Zebra? Yes.
Old McDonald's animals? The cows? The sheep? The turkeys? The Donkeys? The chickens? Yes.
They sleep in the barn? Yes.
And Amah, and Uncle Mark, and... Yes. Everyone is asleep.
Daddy I farted. You wanna smell it? Come on daddy. Smell it!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Whywhatisit?
I was dreading the "Why" phase until he entered the "What's that?" phase. As I answered that question for the 50th time in one day I wondered if "Why" would be worse or a welcome relief. I honestly didn't think anything could be worse but oh did he prove me wrong. Now I get to deal with the "What's that?" phase AND the "Why" phase. Yes both at once.
"What's that mommy?"
Could you at least point in the general direction of something?
"Why mommy?"
So I can figure out what you are talking about.
"But what is it?"
I don't know what it is.
"Why?"
Look honey a shiny object?
"Really mommy? Where? Oh wow mommy. What is it? Why mommy? Whywhatisit?"
He's also quickly mastering the art of procrastination. We both get many hugs and kisses before he'll crawl into bed each night and then another 10 for good measure once he's in bed. Tonight mommy was having none of it. Well, OK, I would only accept 99% before I told him to lay down, close his eyes and go to sleep.
As I sat in the glider in his room losing yet another game of Mahjong on my phone, he played with the zipper on his PJs. I told him to stop, close his eyes and go to sleep. I moved onto my 20th attempt at the damn bug layout my frustration level climbing when he rescued me by climbing out of bed to ask me a question.
He never got the chance to ask his question as I looked up and notice his PJs were off and he was standing in front of me in just a pull up.
"I pee mommy".
Did you pee or do you have to pee?
"Yes mommy"
Strip off the pull up, get him on the toilet and let him do his business.
Done?
"Nope. I poop mommy."
Well hurry up. You think I am have all night to sit here with you?
"Yes mommy. You sit all night"
He lasted in bed less than an hour when I could hear him calling to me. Of course I sent John up instead. Little man is standing at the top of the stairs, pull up off and dangling over the gate.
"Daddy I wet. I pee through Daddy."
Pull up bone dry. Sheet bone dry. Blanket bone dry.
Procrastination #2 complete.
Third time isn't always the charm Baby Boy.
Ah which reminds me of something. Yes, I still call him Baby Boy occasionally as does John. We'll be unpacking his stuff in his dorm room freshman year and I'll still be calling him Baby Boy. Poor kid. He and John were in the dining room the other night. It was time to go upstairs for bed so I called to Little Man. I heard him say to John "Come on Baby Boy. Time to go upstairs".
Did he just call me Baby Boy?
Yup. Get used to it baby.
"What's that mommy?"
Could you at least point in the general direction of something?
"Why mommy?"
So I can figure out what you are talking about.
"But what is it?"
I don't know what it is.
"Why?"
Look honey a shiny object?
"Really mommy? Where? Oh wow mommy. What is it? Why mommy? Whywhatisit?"
He's also quickly mastering the art of procrastination. We both get many hugs and kisses before he'll crawl into bed each night and then another 10 for good measure once he's in bed. Tonight mommy was having none of it. Well, OK, I would only accept 99% before I told him to lay down, close his eyes and go to sleep.
As I sat in the glider in his room losing yet another game of Mahjong on my phone, he played with the zipper on his PJs. I told him to stop, close his eyes and go to sleep. I moved onto my 20th attempt at the damn bug layout my frustration level climbing when he rescued me by climbing out of bed to ask me a question.
He never got the chance to ask his question as I looked up and notice his PJs were off and he was standing in front of me in just a pull up.
"I pee mommy".
Did you pee or do you have to pee?
"Yes mommy"
Strip off the pull up, get him on the toilet and let him do his business.
Done?
"Nope. I poop mommy."
Well hurry up. You think I am have all night to sit here with you?
"Yes mommy. You sit all night"
He lasted in bed less than an hour when I could hear him calling to me. Of course I sent John up instead. Little man is standing at the top of the stairs, pull up off and dangling over the gate.
"Daddy I wet. I pee through Daddy."
Pull up bone dry. Sheet bone dry. Blanket bone dry.
Procrastination #2 complete.
Third time isn't always the charm Baby Boy.
Ah which reminds me of something. Yes, I still call him Baby Boy occasionally as does John. We'll be unpacking his stuff in his dorm room freshman year and I'll still be calling him Baby Boy. Poor kid. He and John were in the dining room the other night. It was time to go upstairs for bed so I called to Little Man. I heard him say to John "Come on Baby Boy. Time to go upstairs".
Did he just call me Baby Boy?
Yup. Get used to it baby.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
All I'm Missing is the Mini Van
Picked up Little Man and came straight home. They were supposed to be paving the street so I parked the next street over. Gathered up all the crap. Grabbed Little Man and trudged home. Of course he decides he legs don't work so I'm carrying a laptop, purse, puppy, papers and him. Get to the house and discover a note from the HOA that the work was finish early so there was no need to move the car by 7 AM (hence parking elsewhere. I can't guarantee I can get out that early any more and I didn't want my car towed). Dump everything in the house. Grab Little Man and trudge back to the car.
15 minutes later we are back in the house. I get dinner started while 2 of the neighborhood girls entertain Little Man. They take off as John comes home (no it wasn't personal, really). We eat dinner. Little Man is non-stop on the food at dinner still. He's grown an inch in less than 2 months already and he's still eating me out of house and home. If he keeps this up, the wardrobe I just bought him will be done for.
John continues to feed him as I get our lunches for tomorrow ready. John and Little Man empty the dishwasher. I help load it up again and then its upstairs to get Little Man ready for bed. It is then I realize I was supposed to stop on the way home tonight and pick up more pull ups for daycare. We get Little Man settled in bed. John stays with and I make the mad dash to the store. Of course I drive the wrong way. 3 packages of pull ups and one bottle of ibuprofen later and I'm on my way home.
I managed to get all of this down in a little over 2 hours. If I can keep this up, I just may survive this whole parent thing. Of course, I don't have to worry about homework, after school sports, special projects, bake sales, school concerts, science fairs, art fairs. Sweet Mother how did my mom pull it off? I have one kid. She had three.
I've been home for an hour and I'm ready to crash but first I have to help John pick out a suit and tie for an interview tomorrow. Is it Friday yet?
I almost forgot. I lined up a "G" and an "O" on the fridge yesterday and asked Little Man what that spelled. Thanks to Go Dog Go, he's learning to spell small words. His answer?
OSTRICH!
15 minutes later we are back in the house. I get dinner started while 2 of the neighborhood girls entertain Little Man. They take off as John comes home (no it wasn't personal, really). We eat dinner. Little Man is non-stop on the food at dinner still. He's grown an inch in less than 2 months already and he's still eating me out of house and home. If he keeps this up, the wardrobe I just bought him will be done for.
John continues to feed him as I get our lunches for tomorrow ready. John and Little Man empty the dishwasher. I help load it up again and then its upstairs to get Little Man ready for bed. It is then I realize I was supposed to stop on the way home tonight and pick up more pull ups for daycare. We get Little Man settled in bed. John stays with and I make the mad dash to the store. Of course I drive the wrong way. 3 packages of pull ups and one bottle of ibuprofen later and I'm on my way home.
I managed to get all of this down in a little over 2 hours. If I can keep this up, I just may survive this whole parent thing. Of course, I don't have to worry about homework, after school sports, special projects, bake sales, school concerts, science fairs, art fairs. Sweet Mother how did my mom pull it off? I have one kid. She had three.
I've been home for an hour and I'm ready to crash but first I have to help John pick out a suit and tie for an interview tomorrow. Is it Friday yet?
I almost forgot. I lined up a "G" and an "O" on the fridge yesterday and asked Little Man what that spelled. Thanks to Go Dog Go, he's learning to spell small words. His answer?
OSTRICH!
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