Mom's Medicine

Little Man was sick last week so of course it means I was sick this week. He had a fever and a mild cough that seemed to kick in only at night. I had a fever and a cough that was 24 hours a day. It has caused severe abdominal pain which wouldn't bother me if it meant I was on my way to at least a 6-pack but no, I'm not that lucky.

I've also had trouble keeping down solids and some other nasty symptoms which wouldn't bother me if after 5+ days I was down at least one size but no, I'm not that lucky.

Why I ask? Why does the Universe hate me so? Why does Karma feel the need to visit me this way? Is one dress size too much to ask after a week of living on water, orange cream soda, and milk? Apparently slowly noshing on cheerios a few days into it to test the limits of my stomach was considered cheating. Well if that isn't the cruelest of rules.

There was a silver lining though. I woke up several mornings to find Little Man pressing his forehead against mine. I'd open my eyes to a big toothy grin and immediately be greeted with a kiss and a hug. Best medicine a mom can get.

She Who Giveth...

Little Man refused to clean up his cars before bedtime tonight. I told him if he didn't I would take them away.

They were taken away.

Whew he has a set of lungs and am I the meanest mommy in the world.

He has to sit on the potty before bedtime. John tried very hard to get him off the potty but he insisted he wasn't done.

The last two nights he has actually pooped on the potty. This was a major milestone for us so he was rewarded with a ton of praise and a new car both nights.

Mommy took away 4 cars tonight. Mind you he has a huge collection.

Do you realize that lil imp was sitting on the potty trying to poop because he thought he would get another car? I have never laughed so hard in my life.

John finally gets him off the potty and he comes back into his room where I am waiting to put him in his pjs. He has somewhat gotten over the horrible treatment he suffered at my hands and decides he will talk to me.

"You no take my cars away mommy!"

Excuse me?

"You no take my cars away!"

I told you if you didn't clean up your cars I would take them away. Did you clean them up?

No answer and the hang dog look starts.

Yes I took you cars away and I will do it the next time you don't listen to me. Now lie down so I can put your diaper on.

Lil imp runs away.

Do you want me to take ALL your cars away?

He came back.

I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow morning.

Tread Lightly

My darling husband is treading dangerous ground. Very dangerous ground.

Don't you have something you want to tell mommy?

"Mommy, I a pubkin."

You're a what?

"A pubkin. I a pubkin mommy."

My darling husband is almost peeing his pants he's laughing so hard and he takes extreme pleasure in translating for me.

"He's a republican".

Fast forward to tonight. I spend what felt like an eternity convincing my son who is a MAMA'S BOY mind you that not only is he a democrat but he's also a RED SOX fan. Yes, John got him started with the "GO YANKEES" crap again. The kid was growling GO YANKEES at me. I finally managed to turn things around and implement some sanity in my house.

"NO daddy. GO RED SOX".

The one time I appreciated the set of lungs he inherited from me.

Oh and speaking of crap. I also got him to turn on his father and become a democrat again.

Except it sounded like democrap...