A Parent's Falling IQ Starts Earlier Than Originally Thought

"ICE CREAM TRUCK!"

No, Fedex Truck

"ICE CREAM TRUCK!"

No, Fedex Truck

"Oh daddy!" *rolls eyes*

Inside the store:

Don't touch anything.
No, don't touch.
Don't touch!

John picks something up

"Daddy. No TOUCH!"

Puppet Doh and and and it hurts

While looking through a book this morning at breakfast:

"Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear."

It's a puppet though.

"Puppet doh. Puppet doh. Puppet doh."

At lunch time:

Can you ask mommy if she'd like some lunch?

"Mommy, you like bread? And cheese? And... and..."

Can mommy have bread with cheese, mayo, and turkey?

"Shoo ah! No problem!"

This afternoon:

"Mommy it hurts"

What hurts honey?

"My finger."

Well stop biting it silly.

Technology and a Toddler

Did you know iPods have a lock feature? I sure didn't. You know who did? Little Man. He locked out my iPod. I thought it was bad the day I was half way to work and realized I didn't have my cell phone so I turned around to get it. Not having my iPod? Sweet Mother. Can we say major withdrawal? Thankfully my other favorite invention saved me. Type "unlock iPod" in Google and the top result took care of it in seconds.

He is not allowed anywhere near my new Droid.

Toddler Speak

Listening to a toddler speak can be funnier than a George Carlin marathon.

"Truck" is not the typical issue in this house. Nope. "Fox" is. I love when that flash card comes up.

"Ring around the posie. Pasta bowl of posie"

"Baah baah back sheeeep. Hah yew any woo? Yesh suh yesh suh fee bay fo. One fo da ma-stir, one fo da dame. And one fo mommy."

"And" sounds a lot like "ee" so up and down sounds like "up ee down". When sung sounds like "uppie down".


Oh, and the wheels on the bus don't go round ee round. They go up ee down, uppie down.

Lowrider buses... oh yeah.

A is for Ant

Little Man likes to move the magnetic letters from the fridge to the front door and back. They were accidentally left on the front door the other day. Added a nice touch to the front of the house - along with the pin wheel he won't let me remove from the garden (my sister is going to LOVE that - story for another time). I moved them back to the kitchen table this morning before someone decided to superglue them to the columns on the front porch. Ok, so maybe I'm the neighbor that would think to do that.

Little Man wanted dinner tonight but he didn't want Mommy to waste time actually cooking it as he prefer it magically cook itself so I could play with him. Toys are not allowed in the kitchen, especially when I am cooking so I distracted him by asking him to put the letters back on the fridge.

He would pick up a letter and ask me "what's that?"

A and A is for....?

"ANT!"

Good job.

This progressed for each letter as he put them back. Every now and then he would stumble on coming up with a word that started with the letter he was holding and I would have to supply one.

"What's that?"

P and P is for....?

Blank stare.

Scrunches brow. Gears are spinning.

Shrugs. Gives up.

P is for Perfect.

"MOMMY!" and runs to give me a hug.

Damn skippy child!