Mama doesn't stink

I have a quirk. I will not leave the house unless I've showered. I have trouble running just to get milk or gas if I haven't showered. I have a very weird hang-up about it. I know. I can't help it. I must take a shower every day unless I am sick and can barely stand. Even then I will shower to go to the doctor.

I got to sleep in this morning. Until 11! I woke up right before Little Man went down for his nap. It was wonderful. The plan was for me to do some stuff around the house, take a shower, feed Little Man his lunch and then run errands.

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future....

Little Man woke up and I hadn't showered. Its not like I can take a 2 minute shower. Washing my hair alone takes 2 minutes. Rinsing can take another 4 (I have a lot of hair and it still hasn't grown out all the way yet). Taking a shower at this point in time will really screw up my ability to run all the necessary errands, having dinner at a decent time and getting Little Man to bed on time.

So I contemplate the unthinkable. I contemplate getting dressed and leaving the house without a shower. Before I can follow through on this dastardly deed, I must determine the degree of stink.

"Do I stink?"

"I can't smell you."

He's across the room so that is very good.

So I perform the time honored test. Raise my arm and sniff the ole pit.

"A little stink maybe. Don't think I really stink."

Little Man walks over and says something undecipherable.

"What's that baby?"

"ablah blah blah" and points to my pit.

"You want to check if mama stinks?"

Nod.

So I lean down and lift my arm for the wee lad. He sniffs a big ole sniff and promptly shakes his head.

"Mama don't stink?"

"Nooo".

Dad swears he put his finger and thumb together to indicate a little but thankfully I didn't see it. So based on the very perceptible little snout of my highly intelligent Little Man, I proceed to dress and leave the house without showering.

You will all be happy to know I did not discern anyone keeping an obviously large distance between me and them but truthfully, I kinda forgot and wasn't paying attention. So if you were at Lowes, Ikea or Cheeseburger in Paradise today, I profusely apologize and it was all my son's fault!