The Joys of Pregnancy Revisited

One of my best friends is pregnant. I couldn't be happier for her. Well, I'll be happier when the morning sickness finally walks its ugly butt out the door. I never had to deal with morning sickness but I still feel for her. And the stories have begun.

"Honey, we need to clean out the garage. And by we, I mean you". And she proceeded to sit her ass on the nearest comfortable chair and "supervise" the proceedings. "Are you sure you want to put that there?"

All husbands take a step closer to sainthood when their wives are pregnant. Hers is no exception.

And her journey has just started. She is, possibly, a tad ahead of other first time moms because she has a friend who doesn't believe in holding back. There is no topic off limits as far as I'm concerned. Some things people don't want to tell you because they don't want to scare you anymore than you already are. I understand that.

Other things, they don't tell you because of a sadistic sense of humor. Like the fact that your brain goes. Completely. No one warns you about that. No one warns you that on a good day you will start to walk out of the house with your hair still in a towel or that you will succeed in walking out of the house with 2 different shoes with 2 completely different size heels on and you won't realize until you are a block down the street. No one warns you that you will completely and utterly forget every day words like closet, or wall, or toothbrush.

So being the good friend that I am, I warned her. Well, re-warned her since she experienced some of my brain farts first hand.

I also warned her about something else. When your mommy friends tell you not to worry, its temporary - THEY LIE! It doesn't come back. Not entirely. 16 months into this and I still can't remember simple words. I sit there and point, snap my fingers and become exceedingly frustrated why my husband can't understand that I am pointing to the COUCH not the laundry on the couch or one of the other myriad of items in the general vicinity of where I am pointing.

It does explain the reason why your mom would give up and just yell "you"