One of the perks of parenthood is wracking up the guilt points but before one can enter that realm, one must first survive the Payback realm. As in, you must first face the countless phone calls to your own parents apologizing left and right and listening to their never-ending gut-busting laughter as your child does to you what you did to them. It is just one of many steps in the eternal rite of passage that is Parenthood.
Each and every time I think I've managed to put the Payback realm into the annals of my life's history, my son drags me back kicking and screaming. Damn Mini Me.
Back in the days of my own childhood, my mom tried getting me to say not just "please" or even "please Mom" but rather "please beautiful mother".
To say I laughed at her would be an understatement but let's face it, the woman tried this trick on us when we were preteens and teens. There is no way in hell that would work on us.
So, being the smarter and wiser parent I decided to teach my darling son this wonderful phrase earlier in life. My first attempt was several weeks ago.
"Mommy you silly!"
My second attempt occurred the following day.
"BAHAHAHAHAHA! Mommy you so silly. Stop that".
So I took the food approach - you have to feed a child something new at least 10 times before they will eat it. By the 10th time, his response was:
"Mommy you stop saying that word to me!".
Since when did the word beautiful get put on the bad list?
The 30th attempt took place last night. The kid was laughing so hard he gave himself the hiccups in under 3 minutes.
And so the viscous cycle continues.
In 20+ years or so, my son may be blessed with his own child and he too will be the smarter parent. He will start teaching his child even younger.
In 20+ years or so, I will be the wiser grandparent.
And I will be in the Payback Realm.
No comments:
Post a Comment