I'm not big on what the experts say. I'm not one for child books. Technically, I didn't really read the whole What to Expect When You're Expecting. John did. I read one or two chapters that I remember. Then, as I hit the next month, John would read the first section of that chapter to me so I would... know what to expect. Read it cover to cover? Yeah... no.
I'm not much of a planner. Hell most of the details for my wedding weren't taken care of until 3 days before. Let things fall where they may, it will all work out. No worries. If you spend all your time planning, exactly when do you live your life?
The only thing John and I discussed prior to having Little Man was the United Front. Which means no matter what we think, in front of him, we are united. Privately we can disagree as to punishment, etc. but in front of him, no cracks in the veneer darling. 'Course the kid is still under the delusion that he can play us off each other. One parent says no, turn to the other. So what if both parents happen to be in the same room sitting right next to each other and can hear everything being said in said room?
Oh and we also discussed spanking. As in I said we wouldn't spank, no discussion. With one exception each, we've maintained that one. Thankfully we've had no exceptions on the United Front. Again... why the delusion then? I seriously hurt my brain attempting to wrangle some sort of logic in this one. It's not like we share DNA or anything. It's not like he doesn't have two incredibly stubborn parents.
So that's it. That's my parenting strategy. Judge me as you may, it has worked for me so far. See, I'm new to all of this parenting thing. I only have one kid so the way I see it is I'll always be new to it. Each phase, age, stage will be new to me. I'm untried, untested, and a tad naive. Hmm, sounds like life in general. So why should I treat parenting any different then how I treat the rest of my life?
So each new phase requires a new strategy. Sometimes I strike gold first time around. Sometimes I swan dive very ungracefully into a bottomless pit. Not once have I hit platinum but I don't believe in perfection so tis all good. Consistency is one key I stick by. I'll be consistent for 2-3 days max. If it don't work, it's broken and I'm fixing it.
After yesterday's debacle I wasn't exactly looking forward to this morning. Things would go one of two ways:
1. Little Man would be quite contrite, loving, sweet, practically angelic or
2. Little Man would be furious, holding the ultimate grudge, whining incessantly about not getting books, songs, flips, life isn't fair, he has the worst mommy in the world, yada yada yada.
I forgot about number 3. Little Man is his normal self and completely forgets about yesterday's debacle until I mention it at which point, he immediately begins to agree to anything and everything I say. (I'll remind him of this in several years when it comes time to put me in a retirement home - sorry kiddo but I'm coming to live with you!). So we started today with a little reminder about whining and temper tantrums. A very simple discussion. If Little Man has either, I'll start filling up that garbage bag sitting in my room.
He was a saint for about an hour maybe two before the first tantrum started to rear. One verbal reminder and he managed a milestone - he calmed himself in record time. I'm talking Guinness Book of World Records record. Sainthood stayed for most of the day too. He was the most helpful child today. Running up and down stairs. Telling me "no problem". Offering to move heaven and earth so I could clean today. It was wonderful.
This evening provided test # 2 of my consistency battle. 2nd battle of the day I claim victory.
Of course I have yet determined the depth of the scars I have laid upon this poor child. Threatened to have all his beloved toys thrown into a garbage bag and tossed. Well OK, donated. I could never actually throw away perfectly good toys. He's slowly grasping the concept of donating toys that he know longer plays with. Maybe he needs old enough to learn the concept of deserving toys. Although I do wonder if I could actually follow through should he decide to test my resolve one of these days. I also wonder the depth to which he will try to lay his guilt later in life. Eh, he's my son. He'll start in on the guilt immediately. He's already perfecting that routine.
So again a possibility of scarring my poor child. Again, questioning my resolve, my parenting ability. Eh. No one is perfect. I'm sure I've already screwed up and expect to screw up even more. He'll survive just fine. Besides, how dare I be perfect? What would he ever have to complain about in his teenage years if he can't complain about how horrible his mom is?
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